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Posted by on Mar 20, 2014

Heavy Meta #70 – Tales of GP Montreal

Heavy Meta #70 – Tales of GP Montreal

Matty gets back from GP Montreal with stories and he brings alone Slick Jagger and Marcel. . . . Nuff said.

Design yourself into the BOOZECUBE – SUBMIT IN THE COMMENTS BELOW TO ENTER!
We loved the boozecube contest so much we want YOU to be a part of it now. That’s right. We want you to design yourself as a boozecube card! Over the next few weeks we want to see your design for yourself as any type of card you want. Winners of this contest will design a card that really tells the story of who they are and how they want to be scene. Make them funny, make them crazy, we don’t care as long as they are true to you!

This is your chance to be part of the first ever HMSVU Community Expansion set. We are going to be giving away HUGE prizes down to 10th place, so get to work!

How to enter?
You have to put your card in the comments of THIS EPISODE by Monday at midnight.

The Heavy Meta Inked Playmats Collection
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Subscribe to Heavy Meta on iTunes
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Spread the Heavy Meta Word!
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You can find us on Twitter at:
@mattystudios – On Detox
@KevyMetall – Screw Detox!
@SlickJagger – What’s Detox?
@MarcelMTG – On his own Detox (*wink)

#HeavyMeta
#HeavyMetaQuotes
#HeavyMetaQandA

  • @oneeightsixsix

    My submission for the boozecube.

  • Joshua Lemish

    was a pleasure meeting you guys!

  • iamcrazyjoe

    boooooze cube

  • Guest

    Here’s my submission for the Booze Cube expansion.

  • Nathan Weber

    Here’s my Booze Cube Expansion card. Enjoy!

  • Tony Cameron

    Wow. The one. The only. Slick Jagger.
    Nice add for the episode.
    Kevy, just like Slick said when he first pulled up and saw me ‘let’s get fucked up together’.
    I can’t make Portland but Boston? That’s a thing right?
    I kept you alive in spirit with the born broken apperal and I’m spreading the love
    Le Maty had green peppers bacon and onion. And it was 50% topping.
    Listing to you redneck fuckers try and say Au pied du cochon Was Priceless.
    All you guys should follow the streamers we have here. Connect the community even further.

    I’m out.
    #Leaving

    • Marcel

      I butcher ever name I try to say :D

  • chomby

    aw man, after seeing these submissions so far I don’t even feel worthy to try to enter! Awesome job boys! I can’t wait to see them all.

  • iamcrazyjoe

    ok fuckers, I was just about to hear the full story about the fight I got involved in that I had no reason to get involved in and then you started talking about #crackgate again. Seriously, I don’t remember what the fight was about.

  • Let’s Fucking Play

    Let’s Fucking Play… BOOZE CUBE

  • chomby

    Wish I had more time(damn finals) to take this into Photoshop but mtgcardsmith.com will have to suffice. At least I’m a college grad now!
    – @bmeboy

  • Alex Shafer

    Pirate Tribal FTW

  • Aaron Tomes

    Heres my submission.

  • MattyStudios

    Love me some Tokens!

    • Alex Shafer

      that is so sick

  • Jon Celso

    Without further ado, here is @BalduvianBears as a Booze Cube card…

    This was a fun contest, guys!

    • Jon Celso

      I guess I’m having trouble uploading the card on my phone…

  • Stephen Raffael

    Haven’t gotten to listen yet, but that will be happening after I post this. Anyway, here is my entry (and a bonus card) for the contest. I’m lame and don’t have any drinking stuff on my cards, so maybe I can win my own category for sober fun? Regardless, this was fun to design and work on so thanks fellas!

  • Carter Babbs

    Booze Cube Submission! Love the cast

  • Noble Troll Pearsall

    Pearsallsblog, the. Noble Troll 1W

    Legendary Creature – Troll Human

    Multi kicker R, U, B, G

    If R was kicker put a Tibalt token into play.

    If G was kicked put all lands from your deck into play, you can no longer cast spells from your hand.

    If U was spent draw 6 and put 5 back on top.

    If B was spent target player drink 3 and draws 3.

    If RUBG was kicked use any number of these abilities, Pearsallsblog becomes a 5/5 protection from opponents.

    • Noble Troll Pearsall

      Oh and I’m a base 2/2, and my artwork is my picture, except I’m under a bridge. Probably a bridge on fire because Kevy metal went through.

  • Brian Saari

    And here is mine

  • PaperShaman

    My #BoozeCube Contest Entry – Drunkcaster Mage

  • http://manadeprived.com HeavyMeta Midget

    Forgive no graphic, but I’m at work while re-submitting this.

    #HeavyMeta “Iron” Midget – 3 (colourless)
    Legendary Artifact creature – Equipment Midget (Mythic)

    1/2
    Hexproof, Indestructible.
    Any player may Drink 2 to remove one of #HeavyMeta “Iron” Midget’s abilities until end of turn.
    Equip 2: Equipped Creature gains +1/+2, Hexproof, and Indestructible

  • Narynan

    I went a different direction. I mean, this is a cube, and we need different effects. Also, a little known fact, I love the beach.

    • Narynan

      And here is the token it generates. Stephen Raffael is my super hero.

    • Narynan

      Might as well post the one without the typo. Because spelling is importan.t

  • Guest

    Just throwing this here while I listen to the cast.

  • Trevor Holness

    Here’s mine

    http://t.co/toXn4IMtxb

  • Trevor Holness

    And here’s mine, this time with Power and Toughness

  • Guest

    Here is my submission for the #boozecube ! pic.twitter.com/VqRUd4Xqrk and then an extra card for fun(unless you guys like it better). pic.twitter.com/gqmmVuVKbF . Also about an hour in and so far its been a great episode. I have plenty of experience in snow penis art so that shit had me laughing almost as much as Mattys impression of Frank talking to his car LOL. btw I play mono white humans and always play paladin when I RP so this was a no brainer when designing my cards. hope you guys like em

  • Chad G

    Here is my submission for the #boozecube ! (Chad, slursword paladian) pic.twitter.com/VqRUd4Xqrk and then an extra card for fun(unless you guys like it better). pic.twitter.com/gqmmVuVKbF . Also about an hour in and so far its been a great episode. I have plenty of experience in snow penis art so that shit had me laughing almost as much as Mattys impression of Frank talking to his car LOL. btw I play mono white humans and always play paladin when I RP so this was a no brainer when designing my cards. hope you guys like em

  • Tyler Priemer

    Loved hanging out with you guys in Montreal! Here’s my Booze Cube cards, use them wisely.

  • Todd Richert

    Love the show, here’s my card but I have to tell the story behind it.

    My friends and I have been playing since beta and one night about 10 years ago we decided to play with shots as life points. We ended up very intoxicated but after game 1 my one buddy says ‘gotta take a piss’ and heads up stairs. We hear a VERY Girly scream a few seconds later and figure he saw a spider (arachnophobic). We Were Wrong! He came down white as a ghost and we asked what happened. He says ‘I took my deck with me, unzipped, let it hang and started shuffling.’ Then he became a Ninja knocking cards out of the air as they fluttered towards the toilet, all the while still pissing.

  • TheProxyGuy

    My Booze Cube Contest entry.

    • Noble Troll Pearsall

      You realize when you come in everything in play gets exiled, and I mean everything, at least the way you worded it.

      • Noble Troll Pearsall

        I mean I love it, but it’s 3 mana exile everything in play, seems broken.

        • Chad G

          Joe, don’t feed the trolls!

      • iamcrazyjoe

        ? It only exiles things with a “Not For Sale” counter, which won’t be anything except the token that was previously created

      • TheProxyGuy

        O_o Nope, just permanents with Not For Sale counters. Written similar to Oblivion Stone, just in reverse.

        I see that it could be interpreted as “exiles all and puts NFS counters on them on the way out”, but that isn’t the case. I’ll make sure if it makes the top 10 to swap the 2 and put the ETB bit at the bottom..Then the token bit will be at the top.

        • Noble Troll Pearsall

          Ah ok, much fairer now,

  • Bruce Lee

    Having a hops allergy means I’ve developed this obsession over scotches and other liquors. I also love old broken magic cards. Whether in magic or in booze I always look to the @ReserveList

    • TheProxyGuy

      Ah fuck, Target “play” should be “player”. My bad.

  • Jimmy

    FYI don’t search the internet for frat related pictures, it’s all gay porn, all of it. Love the show.

  • Marcel

    #BoozeCube

    • PrinceofIs

      Played with the black elixir makes for the game that keeps on giving.

  • Elias Yannopoulos

    Shots anyone?

  • inkyscholar

    So… I was told that the card was designed to reflect who I am at the moment and to be fair my life is not that interesting, but I think of myself as SVU between semesters and I don’t ever miss an episode. Also who actually liked their TA, let alone the angry, bitter, TA who was in his mid 30s? Cheers!

    • inkyscholar

      Oh this is one of those “Bad Cards” Mark Rosewater claims has to be made. I did so on purpose. I feel its deliberately overcosted and an 0/3 defender is somewhat fragile.

  • Tony Sandor

    Thanks for the great cast, makes my work day always better when it is spent laughing my ass off. Enjoy!

    • Tony Sandor

      Some back ground on me, I am a veteran with two tours. I tried to make the card have a lot of flavor for who I am. So when I come into play I command my “troops” to attack something. Then drink in salute of those who fell in battle.

  • Jonathan Richmond

    Thieving Magpies! Birds! Gets stronger when your opponents drink more than you!

  • KnifeCityAlchemist

    Even though I don’t drink anymore, if I did, I’m sure it wouldn’t end well. Hence the activated abilities. All or nothing, just like black. Picture is me passed out after I broke into my friends sister’s bedroom (she wasn’t home at the time) and those are her pink sweatpants on my head.

  • Brandon Higgins

    I was an amateur actor in certain questionable films. I shall say no more. Enjoy the overall feel of the card and it’s flavor as well. Feel free to leave immediately after you finish looking at it.

    • Brandon Higgins

      I felt like I should fix the casting cost on here, too many people who know me have said it should be my colors and not so random. I fixed it, and added a PW version just for shits and giggles. Sorry for the indecisiveness. ( P.S. Every card I design from this moment on will use this art. )

  • PrinceofIs

    Could use some better art, but booze cube card nonetheless

  • Brandon Long

    My booze cube submission

  • WendigoStark

    My entry to the contest.

  • Belligerent Board G

    Yeeeah buddy, Belligerent board gamer being all ninja like.

    • KevyMetall

      Love the beeroic mechanic!

  • RealEvilGenius

    My BoozeCube entry

  • Justin Waller

    Kind of a shame that Chumby ripped my idea and has better art but here goes nothing.

  • Brian Campbell

    Here’s my #BoozeCube entry!

  • Jakob Nordlund

    I don’t know much about drinking

    but fuck it!

  • Jakob Nordlund

    I don’t know much about drinking

    but fuck it here goes anyways

  • Casey Muccioli

    id rather watch other people get too drunk

  • Chad Tompkins

    These are my Submissions. Thank to Raff for helping me flesh them out!

  • Guest

    Here is my submission for the Booze Cube. Thanks goes out to Raff for helping me flesh out the cards. I wanted my personal card to feel like someone that could help your other creatures out but is willing to throw them in the line of fire to protect himself. The Air Support card was meant for everyone to play with so it could bounce around the table but it works especially well with Sgt Tompkins. I mean the Heavymeta Air Support is for the entire SVU anyways. Good luck to everyone I wish everyone the best of luck! I will also be available to help re-render any cards that need to be done once the contest is finished. I will draw, edit, or what every else you guys need of me.

  • Chad Tompkins

    These are my submissions for the Booze Cube. Thanks goes out to Raff for
    helping me flesh out the cards. I wanted my personal card to feel like
    someone that could help your other creatures out but is willing to throw
    them in the line of fire to protect himself. The Air Support card was
    meant for everyone to play with so it could bounce around the table but
    it works especially well with Sgt Tompkins. I mean the Heavymeta Air
    Support is for the entire SVU anyways. Good luck to everyone I wish
    everyone the best of luck! I will also be available to help re-render
    any cards that need to be done once the contest is finished. I will
    draw, edit, or what every else you guys need of me.

  • Chad Tompkins

    These are my submission for the Booze Cube! Thanks goes out to Raff for
    helping me flesh out the cards. I wanted my personal card to feel like
    someone that could help your other creatures out but is willing to throw
    them in the line of fire to protect himself. The Air Support card was
    meant for everyone to play with so it could bounce around the table but
    it works especially well with Sgt Tompkins. I mean the Heavymeta Air
    Support is for the entire SVU anyways. Good luck to everyone I wish
    everyone the best of luck! I will also be available to help re-render
    any cards that need to be done once the contest is finished. I will
    draw, edit, or what every else you guys need of me.

  • ®i©o

    Le old school Rico

  • Brandon Long

    Posting by proxy for Les Kershaw’s @whoisles boozecube submission. He’s out of the country and wanted to make sure it gets submitted in time.

  • Jonathan Peter Gower

    I was half way through the cast and my
    hoodie arrived – ready to fly the Heavy Meta flag here in Australia
    now – thats for all the great casts

  • Noble Troll Pearsall

    This is mine, thanks yo Steve! But I forgot add the last part, if all were kicked you can ignore any number of these abilities. Also, thanks Steve for the art. And a great episode y’all,you should have both Kevies on more often.

    • Noble Troll Pearsall

      Also this episode makes me wonder what meeting Kevy will be like, and a bit worried for my personal health to do so. But oh well, take the beats and the bruises if it’s a great time.

  • T_Moles

    Here is my Submission. the picture is actually me. i was at Foxwooods Casino seeing a band and it was my 1st time getting absolutely hammered. i passed out in a corner and got a lampshade put on my head. 1st time i had Absinthe & a lot of other stuff.
    also had my phone taken away cuz i was drunk dialling everyone!!
    Design Credits to Stephen Raffael and Brian Campbell

  • Chad Tompkins

    These are my submissions to the Booze Cube. Thank you Raff and the other SVU members for helping me flesh out my cards. Sgt Tompkins is my personal card its supposed to feel like a leader in battle that can pump up his troops but can also use them as a shield if needed. The Heavymeta Air Support comes from last fall when @theproxyguy:disqus made a badass teeshirt for me and the card is supposed to feel like back up no matter what your board state is. Its a little under costed because it does get passed around the board.That bering said the Heavymeta Air Support is there to help any member no matter who played the card. I will also be available to help re-render any cards that you guys deem necessary . I can also re-draw and edit anything the community needs. Good Luck everyone!

  • Mike Ringer

    Special thanks to Steveo for putting the art together for this!

    • Belligerent Board G

      I would have the tip be a ETB effect, and just put more shafts into play. Unless you have multiple tips, then good on ya’. I want this card with multiple sets of tokens though, lol.

  • BasicLands

    Hey guys, here’s my submission to the Booze Cube Contest.

    I tend to like variants and randomness to my gaming, so I designed a draft mechanic. Also, got a big butt, hence a 1/5.

  • Max Brett

    Here goes! Long live the boozecube!

  • Brandon Long

    Posting again for Les Kershaw, somehow the first disappeared. @whoisles

  • Mark D

    Hey guys, wanted to throw my entry in there as well. Long time listener, but I’m not on Twitter. Love your stuff though, and your show definitely helps during the more mind-numbing hours of collecting and ordering data on banks for my phd!

  • Ryan Sainio®

    My entry!!!

  • @oneeightsixsix

    Here is Angelo’s submission. @ganksuou

  • @oneeightsixsix

    Here is Angelo’s submission. @ganksuou (maybe the image will attach this time)

    • @oneeightsixsix

      post

  • @oneeightsixsix

    third try: Here is Angelo’s submission. @ganksuou

    pic.twitter.com/Ep3stBpdOP

    • @oneeightsixsix

      Hopefully the last updated. I must be asleep today :/

      pic.twitter.com/0rCK3yVhEp

  • @oneeightsixsix

    didn’t see it posted… here is Travis Hall’s
    pic.twitter.com/xTz5qZbCbd

  • Jeremey Schofield

    My post for the contest. Wanted to capture the lightside and darkside of drinking. Ultimate represents the 1 selfish guy who lives life grand while everyone else has to take care of him, then hangover. <3

    • KevyMetall

      Hahahahaha!! So awesome!

  • Guest

    I wanted to find a sweeter stained glass pic, but..

  • Guest

    Was looking for a sweeter stained glass pic, but..

  • JR

    Was looking for a sweeter stained glass pic, but good enough..

  • Bruce Lee

    Unofficial. Why? Because I can.The Yamave is an anagram for Heavy Meta, I thought that all three podcasters should have a combined theme and cohesive theme.
    Of all the color shards, Naya is the perfect marriage of community and partying.

    • KevyMetall

      Dude soooo good!

  • Tim Sargent

    Here’s my submission

  • Zac Bange

    Had so many ideas, had to go with the one that was truest for me

    http://i.imgur.com/dV9XS3c.jpg

  • Zac Bange

    Had so many ideas, but had to go with the one that was truest to me. Because I’m all about me being me.

    http://i.imgur.com/lheg3xP.jpg

  • Endofturn

    Chafing Devil RR
    Creature Devil
    Trample, haste
    When Chafing Devil enters the battlefield any opponent may drink 30. If a player does sacrifice Chafing Devil.

    It’s not fun until someone loses their lunch.
    6/5

  • DesperateRaving

    Holy fuck. All of these submissions are good. Hope mine measures up.

    • ®i©o

      bwhaha, love this art

      • DesperateRaving

        Thanks! Whipped it up with my mad Paint skills.

  • Slick Jagger

    So guys. This is my submission for the booze cube contest. This is our beloved Eh-Team co-host J Schofield about to lick my face while shit wasted in Montreal. With a special photobomb cameo from T-Moles one of the SVU’s most traveled members. My first design was a creature and basically Matty told me kindly that it sucked. I really loved the Annihilated mechanic that Tony came up with when we were tanked and I wanted to use it. I know this card seems like a game ender and its meant to be that way. But if you do use it in a booze cube tournament (multi pod) you better be prepared to keep playing with 1/10th of your mental capacity. I wanted to capture the fact that if you wanna rage with the SVU, you better bring your fucking A game. Hope you guys like it!!!
    – Slick

  • KevyMetall

    Me!!

  • KevyMetall

    aaaand me to go with General Studios ;)

  • mcmuslim marsala

    Boozecube Card

  • Martin Brunet

    Keeping you out of trouble:

  • Martin Brunet

    Keeping you out of trouble!

  • http://video.pbs.org/video/1642358743/ HeavyMetaWolverine

    fuck what the fox says…

  • Topher Crews

    My submission.

    The Weeaboo (Google it if you don’t know what it means)
    2WU

    When the Weeaboo enters the battlefield choose target opponent and target permanent they control. Ask that opponent a question relating to japanese culture. If the opponent gets that question correct make a token copy of target permanent. If the opponent gets it incorrect exile target permanent.

    3/2

    “Careful man they’ll eat you alive if you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  • My Observations

    My Submission.

  • Guest

    My last minute submission.

  • PitScorpion

    Last minute submission

  • Jason

    My Booze Cube Contest entry.

  • Coolio

    Booze Cube submission

  • airzooka

    cube entry

    • airzooka

      ^should probably be Rakdos

  • CohostLackeyNumber2

    Meant to be a legendary enchantment creature.

  • Noble Troll Pearsall

    This is @zanepearsalls I know it’s to late for the contest but I hope it’s not to late to consider him for the cube.

  • KevyMetall

    Hey folks. I gotta post Krakenjacked’s card for him cause he’s in Death Valley and was unaware of the reposting deadline.

  • ®i©o

    Seriously impressed with the response to this contest :D

  • Franky Richard

    #BoozeCube submission

  • botticus

    Forgot to post this last night hope the entry isn’t too late. As someone who doesn’t drink I’ve always wanted so see if I could win a game without drinking at all and of course my card would be a first pick in that deck. Also wanted to add the flavor text “You don’t drink? Why the fuck not?” – Everyone. but I’m at work so no access to magics set editer atm

  • TheBoozeCube

    I’m glad to see so many entries. I figured it would be unfair for me to actually compete, but I decided to design a card of myself for the expansion. I’m kind of obsessed with the Eldrazi, so this seemed appropriate.

  • Bruce Lee

    New replacement submission! This card is sponsored by Joben Gin, Kraken Rum and Glenlivet.

    So I know that we were supposed to create a card that represented ourselves but that limited the design space too much for me. I’m submitting this card because it’s awesome and it’s actually more me than that other card.

    This card is me because (for reasons that piss me off) I can’t drink beer, I only drink liquor. (mostly whisky & rum)

    This card is me because I just want to see people have fun and play by the rules. BUT if you’re going to break the rules, then do it in a flashy way.

    I’m like Darksteel. Darksteel don’t give a fuck! You can’t reshape it or destroy it , it’s just THERE.

    “Centuries of parties have come and gone but the fridge remains, always awaiting the next revelry.”

  • Bruce Lee

    New replacement submission! This card is sponsored by Joben Gin, Kraken Rum and Glenlivet.
    So I know that we were supposed to create a card that represented ourselves but that limited the design space too much for me. I’m submitting this card because it’s awesome and it’s actually more me than that other card.

    This card is me because (for reasons that piss me off) I can’t drink beer, I only drink liquor. (mostly whisky & rum)
    This card is me because I just want to see people have fun and play by the rules. BUT if you’re going to break the rules, then do it in a flashy way.
    I’m like Darksteel. Darksteel don’t give a fuck! You can’t reshape it or destroy it , it’s just THERE.

    “Centuries of parties have come and gone but the fridge remains, always awaiting the next revelry.”
    “It’s a source of epic revelry, just don’t be stuck with the refill charge.”

    • Bruce Lee

      By round up I mean round up to the nearest multiple of seven.
      int Shots = (# of drinks) / 7 +1

  • Casey Muccioli

    FFFUUUCCCKKK i just thought of the greatest card:
    cmc: UR3
    ___ deals damage to target creature or player

    shitstorm: copy this spell for each time you drank this turn. you may choose new targets for the copy.

    • Casey Muccioli

      deals 1 damage*

  • Guest

    too late for the contest but an idea for those who want to use it

  • Guest

    too late for the contest but an idea for those that want to use it

  • Casey Muccioli

    updated with help from booze cube himself

  • Casey Muccioli

    i promise this is that last one, i didnt want to lose the name shitstorm

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