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Posted by on Dec 12, 2012 in Articles | 148 comments

Just a Girl

Just a Girl

“You treat everybody the same because everybody’s got skeletons. Some people just hide them more. Some don’t get brought to the light, but ain’t nobody perfect. Nobody.” – Zach Randolph, Memphis Grizzlies

I’d love to tell you fine folks that I’m here to talk about GP Toronto, or a sweet Standard brew. Unfortunately, I’m not. In fact, this article is only tangentially about Magic at all and I would understand if those readers who are here to read about the beautiful game we all share closed this window and left now. I know that I would if the subject didn’t matter so much to me so I’ll forgive anyone who walks away right now.

Still here? Good because we have a lot of ground to cover and absolutely none of it is going to be any fun. I’m sorry. Before we get started however I think it’s important that I share a few simple facts with you to help frame our discussion:

  • I’m 35 years old, originally from Detroit (and Windsor) and I live in Toronto now
  • I’m Christian and by that I mean I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ.
  • I’m legitimately addicted to Magic, it’s my only real hobby and I play almost every day
  • I’m a post-op transgendered woman; though I have always thought of myself as a girl the world most certainly has not always agreed with me.
  • I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love with all of my heart; he looks like a Celtic Warrior god and he’s about as 100% “man” as you can get. No perfumes, manicures or metrosexual haircuts here folks. Also, he likes girls; A LOT. Sometimes to my chagrin in fact.
  • I’m not a “queen”, a “performance artist”, a “transvestite”, or “Boy George”
  • I’m not a victim; actually my life is pretty amazing

If you don’t know me personally I’m going to guess that your jaw dropped to the floor around about bullet number four there. That’s okay, I’m not angry with you for that at all. The truth is that sometimes humans have a hard time handling new things and the confusion they bring. Even as adults, the mind recoils at unexpected changes and we quickly dismiss these things as “weird” or “scary” to protect our current world view. This doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you human. The problem comes after the initial shock has worn off; once you’re done being scared or confused, where do we go from there? Do you find me repulsive? Are you offended about my personal life? Do you find it fascinating? Do you have all sorts of icky questions you want to ask me? Do you feel the need to explain to me that I have offended your God somehow? Do you want to understand me? Do you feel pity? Just one more question folks; would it surprise you to know that I don’t care what you think?

Let’s stop talking about me for a second and talk about you. If you’re here I’m going to assume you play Magic and, statistically speaking, that means you’re probably male, and between the ages of eighteen and thirty. Obviously I’m generalizing here but the math says that most of you reading this article will match that description pretty well. You’re probably reasonably well off financially (Modern Jund decks don’t grow on trees) and there’s a pretty good chance you have or are in the process of obtaining a University education. You’re also probably (cauc)asian; again guys, we’re just playing the percentages here. Finally I can safely assume based on the above information that the vast majority of the time you sit down to play Magic the person across from you also matches this description. Not every time, but most of the time.

But you don’t think of that, do you? When you’re sitting down to play your opponent in round six of a PTQ there’s a lot going through your mind. You’re wondering “who’s the favorite in this matchup”,” is my opponent any good”, “will my opening hand be good enough” and ultimately, “can I win?” At no point in time do you stop to consider the sex of your opponent, his personal life history, whether or not he likes girls, if he really left the house looking like that, or whether he has a personal relationship with your God. Why? The answer is actually pretty obvious; because you’re both Magic players, here to win a match and all of these thoughts are completely irrelevant in the pursuit of that goal. You do not care about the answers to any of those questions and we both know it. In fact it’s probably a pretty good idea for you to actively avoid those questions and focus on your match and precise technical play.

If you stop and think about that for a moment there’s actually something really beautiful going on here. When we sit down to play Magic we share a simple common bond with our opponent that breaks down barriers like age, race, gender, political opinions and religious views. Hell, two people who don’t even speak the same language can usually come together and play a game of Magic as long as both players know the cards by sight. We are united by the common bonds of competition, sportsmanship and the desire to beat the holy crap out of our opponents with our sweet, sweet Magic cards. That’s why you attend tournaments isn’t it? Would it shock you to know that this is why I attend tournaments as well? If your friends said “hey, let’s go down to the card shop and stare at all the weirdos while calling people faggots all day” would that have the same appeal to you as a Magic player? I’m guessing the answer is no folks; if only because a “yes” means you’d probably be way too busy picketing a gay soldier’s funeral to find time for Magic on Saturdays.

So now you know who I am, and I’ve offered a pretty rough statistical skeleton of who you might be, what exactly do we have in common folks? Oh right; that thing called “being a Magic Player!” No matter how different we are, we both really dig this silly little card game that’s pretty much intellectual crack and neither one of us is giving that up for anything. This, right here is our common bond and it’s the single biggest reason why absolutely nothing about our differences is relevant for the next 50 minutes (plus turns, hates you precious Tron player). Assuming you’re a rational person capable of critical thought I’m willing to bet you see where I’m going with this already. I’m a Magic player just like you and I want to be thought of, judged as and treated like a Magic player by my peers and opponents in this community. I don’t want your understanding, your pity, your empathy, your ignorance, your hatred or frankly even your respect. I don’t care what you think of me as a person and I hope you understand that I’m not wasting a single ounce of mental energy judging you as a person either. We’re here to battle, nothing more and nothing less. Those of you who understand this simple concept are free go now; class dismissed, you passed with flying colors. These next two sections are about to get ugly and I don’t want y’all to feel like I’m painting everyone with the same wretched brushes I’m about to bust out here.

Okay so maybe you’re a bigot? I realize that’s a little harsh, there could of course be a few other reasons why you’re still here reading this. You may have very strong religious views that you feel I haven’t properly addressed. You may simply be the kind of pedantic jackass who likes to get into fights on the internet about his First Amendment rights and how they specifically allow him to call people faggots, homos and drag queens if he likes. I really can’t say for sure but I feel pretty confident that what I’m about to say will still apply regardless of why you’re still here. Let’s break it down in bullet points:

  • You aren’t special and neither are your opinions. The world is full of people who share these opinions and have no problem sharing them with others. Nothing you can say to me, no hurtful question you can ask is ever original; I’ve heard them all before, just as countless women in my situation have heard them. You’re a broken record and it’s a pretty boring one.
  • You don’t get to judge other people’s sexuality. Who they fuck, how they self-identify, and what department they shop in at Walmart is not something you get to “agree” or “disagree” with. They are facts and when you say “I don’t agree” you sound like an ancient primitive arguing that the world isn’t round. No really, it’s that bad.
  • You are not the final arbiter of God’s word, nor are you his instrument of judgment. This one is mostly directed towards my fellow Christians but there’s some wisdom here no matter what religion you practice; even Humanism. I feel this is pretty self-explanatory but for those of you still confused let me spell it out. God loves me; every single line, every single chapter, every single scrap of information Jesus left us tells me so. I love God; every moment that I am awake and alive tells me so. Do you notice that you aren’t involved here? Try reading the New Testament folks; there’s a lot more to the bible than the book of Leviticus.
  • You ain’t no prize either buttercup. Yes, I said it. You sit across from me and you see a freak, an object of derision, and a weaker, broken human you can score points on to make yourself feel better. Know what I see? A scared little kid who doesn’t know how to dress himself, has never played a sport that didn’t involve a Wii paddle in his life, has never kissed a girl and obsesses about what he’s missing constantly. I see someone who rather than taking life by the horns receded into his own head with silly little cards and silly little hateful opinions. I wonder if your parents are proud of you and I doubt that they are. We’re even. Shut the fuck up and play so we can both move out of each other’s lives as quickly as possible.
  • Your First Amendment rights don’t mean sweet fuck all to me sir and in the really real world they don’t mean sweet fuck all to anyone else either. Again, self-explanatory but it breaks down pretty simply. When the local police kick in your door and arrest you for writing an article in the student newspaper about corruption on campus, you have a First Amendment issue. When you start crying about your constitutional right to call people faggots whenever you feel like it? You have a “fucking moron” issue. Shockingly society doesn’t care about your right to be a fucking moron; even if the law implies that it does.

Okay, that was pretty rough. I understand and apologize for the shock that may have caused you. With that having been said, we’re talking about some pretty serious issues here and it makes no sense to beat around the bush. Thankfully we’re almost done but there is one more group of people I’d like to address before I climb down off this soapbox. I’d also like to apologize for the reaction this is going to cause in some of you but at this point I don’t think it can be avoided. This section is for all of the other transgendered individuals in Magic who’re “going through” these “dark times”:

  • You are not defined by your sex or sexuality. You are a person and with that comes a myriad of hopes, dreams, pressures, thoughts, ideas and emotions. The fact that you’re transgendered is only ONE small part of the multi-faceted miracle that is you. When you choose to self-identify ONLY with your gender/sexuality you are literally helping small minded people stuff you into a box and discard you as a human being.
  • You are not a victim. I can’t stress the importance of this point enough. You are not powerless, you are not weak, and you do not need to be protected. The enemy is fear and ignorance and you do absolutely nothing to help yourself by feeding the hyenas. Nobody said this was going to be easy when you signed up Princess; you pretty much had to know this was coming right? So fight back. Don’t take it. Stop pretending you can’t hear the laughs and snide comments. Turn right to your tormentor and ask him “what the fuck does that mean?” Take the battle to THEM! He thinks you’re a freak? Remind him that he’s a fat bigot. Stand up for yourself as a person and do not ALLOW them to hurt you. You have no control over what people say but you’ll be damned if you can’t control your response to it.
  • You aren’t special either honey and you don’t deserve special treatment. Look, maybe this isn’t you okay? Maybe you’re just happy to attend the Magic tournament, play some cards and be “one of the guys” without having to dress like one of them and live a horrifying lie. That’s fine. Some of you however, can fairly accurately be described as “drama queens” on par with Shannon Doherty. Life isn’t all about you and your sexuality. Most of the people in the room came here for a Magic tournament, not to test their pass-ability in public or to strut around in revealing clothing and “piss off muggles”. You do us all a disservice when you behave this way; find a bar, leave my Magic tournament alone.
  • Your life is actually pretty amazing. Let’s be real here ladies, one-hundred years ago most of us would be dead; either because we were lynched or because medical technology held no hope of resolving our condition. Fifty years ago it would be difficult for us to walk out in public during the transitioning process or frankly afterwards. Twenty-five years ago we were a punch line on daytime TV; an object of derision and humiliation for all to see. Ten years ago they made a movie about transgendered women and had a genetic girl star in it. You’ve come a long way baby, so maybe it’s time to get down off the cross and start living your life?
  • It’s your life. What you get out of it, your fulfillment, your happiness… all of these things are on you. If you’re reading this you already know how to play your way out of a bad hand. Do you want to waste all that by letting the haters get you down? Now? After you’ve been through so much already? The finish line is coming sweetie, just hang in there.

Okay folks, I’ve said my peace. I hope I didn’t offend too many people but I feel like that’s an acceptable consequence if even one single person learned something from this wretched exercise. For me, this felt a lot like repeating obvious truths over and over but a quick scan of the various articles on the Internetz about this subject makes it clear that they aren’t “obvious” to everyone. I still love you all (and Magic) as much as I did yesterday but I sure am tired of going around this same circle forever. Hopefully I never have to write another article like this again but frankly I’m not holding my breath that this will change anything. In the words of the immortal Tupac, “Life goes on”.

-nina

  • CardboardWitch

    I would like to thank Mana Deprived for giving me this opportunity to share my work with you all once again. I wish I could be talking to you under better circumstances but I genuinely felt these words needed to be said. If I’ve made you angry, I’m sorry but please know that if it helped you think even for a moment about how you treat other magic players I think that was worth it. Please forgive me and thanks for reading.
    -nina

    • Zielle47

      CardboardWitch

    • Zielle47

      It seems at least to me that the person or persons described in the article above as well as some of the persons who have posted in response of this article are lacking in what are essentially basic tenants of humanity; although we are inherently different, these basic ideas of decency and understanding shouldn’t particularly matter whether you are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish or whatever. We as magic players should be able to sit down and just play magic, you should be able to see the fellow magic player across from you as just that without subjugation as an equal, Because if you see yourself as above another person all they will see is an asshole and all you will see is a shithead.

    • XRai

      I struggle to understand the bit about transgendered people being a “miracle”, and then “Nothing special”.

      To be honest, you come across pretty preachy and holier than thou, despite your words to the contrary.

      For me, I could care less what your gender or sex is. Chat to me in a tournament venue, you’ll get treated the same, with pretty much the exact same thing I tell most people. “You seem cool, I hope you do well. Unless you’re against me, then I hope you die in a fire.”

      The content may needed to be discussed, I’m just not sure that you have the capability to do it. You’re close, but as I’ve already stated, the preachiness is REALLY offputting.

      Also, in this day and age, if you feel the need to point out your religion every 5 seconds, there’s probably something a bit iffy going on there.

      Just Sayin’

  • nickbedo

    Absolutely loved this piece.

  • HobbesQ

    You have a fucking moron problem is by far my favorite line in this

    • EricMacLachlan

      HobbesQ CardboardWitch  
      I think that borders with “Lustful cock monsters”

  • Lobster667

    As I said on Twitter, I found the article generally speaking a really good read – good job, Nina! I read it all (even though I am neither transgendered nor a ‘fucking moron’) because I wanted to hear everything you wanted to say, which I guess bodes well for the quality of the writing.The one thing I didn’t like (more due to personal taste than because I think it’s ‘bad’) was the sometimes overly aggressive tone. It felt like your solution, to put it in biblical terms, was more of a ‘hit them back’ than a ‘turn the other cheek’ solution at times, though the ending took some of that sharpness and negativity out of it and ended on a positive note which I really appreciated.
     I’m a big fan of ‘everyone being in this together’, and perhaps that’s why at times the tone felt a little too divisive, but I appreciate your unique insight into the subject and certainly prefer you speaking your mind to just keeping quiet and hoping things change of themselves, because they won’t.
    Keep it up!-Marcus (@Lobster667 on Twitter)

    • CardboardWitch

      @Lobster667 That’s fair. You did read the part where I said I was from Detroit right? I certainly understand where you are coming from but in my experience a quick significant response is your best defense in these situations. Perhaps I’m just old and jaded, I dunno. I will say that pretending everything is fine is not a solution and I can prove that with my own life experiences. Greatly appreciate the comment and commend your attitude; it just doesn’t work when I try it sir.

  • Patrick G

    A straight male perspective: 
    When I was in high school I used to make rape jokes, call things “gay” and generally act like a douche bag. I thought I was really funny, and most of my male friends thought so too. I wasn’t fat or atrocious ugly, but I got ZERO pussy, not even a kiss or a hand job. Looking back, it seems gayer to make fun of gays that to actually be gay, because at least you’re getting some action if you’re gay. What’s the bottom line? Open minded girls like tolerant, open minded guys and have open minded sex. Bigots typically stick to jerkin their gherkin. Great article, Nina. 
    - Patrick G

  • DoubleStandardMuch

    “Know what I see? A scared little kid who doesn’t know how to dress himself, has never played a sport that didn’t involve a Wii paddle in his life, has never kissed a girl and obsesses about what he’s missing constantly.””Take the battle to THEM! He thinks you’re a freak? Remind him that he’s a fat bigot”I like how you think it’s okay to deride someone for being poorly dressed, not into sports, not kissing girls, over being overweight…You’re a sad sad person and you’re no better than anyone else that has called you a stupid faggot.

    • CardboardWitch

      @DoubleStandardMuch ahh well, there’s always one. I’m so sorry I victimized you and I shall forever remember this moment in shame. Feel better? Didn’t think so.
      Also for what it’s worth I’m not exactly a “thin” lady and I have a caboose the size of Michigan. Maybe you missed the part where I was talking to someone who was clearly a bigot? Naw, that can’t be it. I’m just a sad sad person. Good day.

      • DoubleStandardMuch

        CardboardWitch  My issue here dear is that you seem to have no problem with calling someone names or making fun of them for their shortcomings, but you felt the need to rant at others for doing the exact same thing to you.   Doesn’t matter if they’re a bigot or not, you should treat them with respect and love.  Same for gay, or fat, or mentally challenged, or physically disabled, etc.. – it’s who they are.  Don’t make who someone is an insult to them.  Doing otherwise lowers yourself to their level and makes a mockery out of claiming to be a follower of Jesus.  I’m not victimized by your sad display of intolerance and double standards.  I’m fine with who I am, and I can ignore people who call me names.  I just want you to know that all your hard work with this article is completely undermined (hah magic pun!) when you act like you’re in the right to make verbally abusive statements but others are not; that only makes you part of the problem.

        • EricMacLachlan

          @DoubleStandardMuch CardboardWitch Gay, mentally challenged and physically disabled are much different than bigotry. The first are examples of Circumstance or Nature if you will. The Second is a conscious effort to be a jerk, or ignorant and the like. I agree that the first group deserves to be treated with respect, because they have done nothing to warrant our lack of respect, but the second group meh.

    • CardboardWitch

      @DoubleStandardMuch Edit: Also, you should really try kissing girls. I did a little bit of it when I was allowed to and woah man was it fun. Seriously if you take nothing else from this moment make sure you find the time to kiss girls.

      • DoubleStandardMuch

        CardboardWitch  See, there you go. Straw Man is such a terrible stance for an argument. Please grow up.  Not that it even matters, but I’ve kissed (and much more) many women, as well as even a couple men.  I’m very happy with myself (both sexually and otherwise) and to think that you’re insulting me by this line of reply is only serving to further my argument.

        • CardboardWitch

          @DoubleStandardMuch Go in peace my brother, but please just go. Goodnight world.

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch Truth hurts, doesn’t it?

        • CardboardWitch

          @DoubleStandardMuch Okay one more try and then I’m literally going to run out of patience. Go read the article again; I clearly described the person on the opposite side of the table. I do not owe him any love and I do not care if you understand that. What’s more I said I believe in the teachings of Christ, I did not say that I was the man. Like you or anyone else I do the best I can each day and sir I save my energy, efforts and good cheer for the people I love and the people who love me. If you have a heart full of hate I don’t owe you anything. 
          Now please, stop proving that it’s way past your bedtime. This is unseemly and you’re legitimately making me look bad by replying. A simple “don’t call me fat, bitch” would have sufficed. Behave and goodnight.

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch 
          I clearly described the person on the opposite side of the table. I do not owe him any love and I do not care if you understand that.”Love your neighbor as love yourself”
          please, stop proving that it’s way past your bedtimeAnother pathetic attempt to insinuate that I am a child.  I am older than you and, from what I can gather, much wiser.A simple “don’t call me fat, bitch” would have sufficed.That’s more hate speech.  All or none, you can’t have it both ways.  Either people can call you a faggot, and you can call them fat, or nerdy, or bitch, etc.. or nobody can call anyone anything.  Pick one.

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch 
          I clearly described the person on the opposite side of the table. I do not owe him any love and I do not care if you understand that.”Love your neighbor as love yourself”please, stop proving that it’s way past your bedtimeAnother pathetic attempt to insinuate that I am a child. I am older than you and, from what I can gather, much wiser.A simple “don’t call me fat, bitch” would have sufficed.That’s more hate speech. All or none, you can’t have it both ways. Either people can call you a faggot, and you can call them fat, or nerdy, or bitch, etc.. or nobody can call anyone anything. Pick one.

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch 
          I clearly described the person on the opposite side of the table. I do not owe him any love and I do not care if you understand that.<br>”Love your neighbor as love yourself”<br>please, stop proving that it’s way past your bedtime<br>Another pathetic attempt to insinuate that I am a child. I am older than you and, from what I can gather, much wiser.<br>A simple “don’t call me fat, bitch” would have sufficed.<br>That’s more hate speech. All or none, you can’t have it both ways. Either people can call you a faggot, and you can call them fat, or nerdy, or bitch, etc.. or nobody can call anyone anything. Pick one.<br>ps: sorry for the repeated posting, trying to fix the formatting, which seems to rather poor on this website :-/

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch 
          I clearly described the person on the opposite side of the table. I do not owe him any love and I do not care if you understand that.”Love your neighbor as love yourself”please, stop proving that it’s way past your bedtimeAnother pathetic attempt to insinuate that I am a child. I am older than you and, from what I can gather, much wiser.A simple “don’t call me fat, bitch” would have sufficed.That’s more hate speech. All or none, you can’t have it both ways. Either people can call you a faggot, and you can call them fat, or nerdy, or bitch, etc.. or nobody can call anyone anything. Pick one.

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch  I clearly described the person on the opposite side of the table. I do not owe him any love and I do not care if you understand that.”Love your neighbor as love yourself”please, stop proving that it’s way past your bedtimeAnother pathetic attempt to insinuate that I am a child. I am older than you and, from what I can gather, much wiser.A simple “don’t call me fat, bitch” would have sufficed.
          That’s more hate speech. All or none, you can’t have it both ways. Either people can call you a faggot, and you can call them fat, or nerdy, or bitch, etc.. or nobody can call anyone anything. Pick one.

        • CardboardWitch

          @DoubleStandardMuch So let’s sum this up: you’re older than me, wiser than me, you’ve kissed more girls, you’re a better Christian than I am and to my side all I have is that I can learn to post exactly once instead of 15 times in a row. Jeeze man, YOU should be the one writing articles.
          Thanks for reading.

        • DoubleStandardMuch

          CardboardWitch Haha, the website would not format my comment correctly. I even posted as much.  I also tried multiple times to fix the issue, and clicked delete on each comment before reposting.  It’s not my issue that this website is very poorly coded.   You’ve yet to own up to your double standard, nor have you made one comment that didn’t attempt to insult me during your replies.  You’ve made my argument for me every single time you’ve posted, and for that I thank you.

        • Jay Lansdaal

          @DoubleStandardMuch   I might be missing something when you say “Either people can call you a faggot, and you can call them fat, or nerdy, or bitch, etc.. or nobody can call anyone anything. Pick one.”, but why does she have to pick one? I think she is arguing for treating all people the same, regardless of their gender, skin color, behavior etc. This does not mean you do the exact same things when you interact with them, it means they all start at point zero before any interaction. Everybody is worth just as much, and through their behavior/status/role can illicit certain behavior in return.For example, you don’t behave the same way around your wife as you do your employer. These two people were one day both unknown entities, that you treat different based on how they interact(ed) with you. Is that having a double standard? I guess, but that’s not very helpful in solving the issue here.She specifically stated that she’ll call names only when the other person is doing so. So if someone is being an asshole, she’ll be an asshole back – not because he’s straight, a guy, or atheist – but because he’s being an asshole. I think it would be a ‘double standard much’ if people were allowed to act like bigots towards her, but she isn’t allowed to retaliate. That, I think, is the double standard that matters.

  • AbonCamus

    Ugh. Christianity. Not a great basis for morality.

    • CardboardWitch

      AbonCamus I’m not sure any of what I said is about that but okay. I mean I’m not upset that you feel that way nor do I think it’s something we should argue about. I really only mentioned it because some people do use the tired old excuse of religion to justify their behavior in the face of those that are different from themselves. My bad, thanks for reading.

      • AbonCamus

        CardboardWitch AbonCamus It’s not a valid justification anymore than my using The Underground Man to justify my own. I just sensed an article that would fumble around with mores and gender roles, so I didn’t bother continuing.  Religions are a source of numerous unhealthy mores and precedents, which is precisely why passages are picked and chosen.  Any sort of discourse about misogyny/chauvinism will cause ill-informed normal, shitty dudes to become defensive. Pointless article to write. If you want to discuss such things, enroll in a gender studies course or read some Judith Butler and befriend a dyke.

        • CardboardWitch

          AbonCamus CardboardWitch Okay, I laughed. I don’t agree with you but thanks for the giggle that last bit was pretty funny. Thanks for reading; the first little bit or so anyways. No harm no foul, wish you well sir.

        • AbonCamus

          CardboardWitch AbonCamus Just think of rattling the cages of ‘sleepers’ this way- most  people are basically good and do not wish to do harm; realizing that the toxic principles/values have been mindlessly accepted is really unpleasant to just about any man.  Social progress has a glacial pace and it is a waste of time to try to mobilize the ignorant status quo when they are just the repositories of ignorance…like squishing bees as they come out of a hive…you’ll never be done.  Cheers and best wishes: Festivus Kwanzaa, xmas, Hanukkah and/or whatever else.

      • EricMacLachlan

        CardboardWitch AbonCamus
        “are not the final arbiter of God’s word, nor are you his instrument of judgment”
         I know your article wasn’t focused on faith or Christianity but I love this point you made. I am a believer as well but have become very disillusioned with many people in my community because of actions like this, as well as actions of the larger community as well. It’s too bad more believers don’t share this same view point.
        As for the rest of your article it was a very worthwhile read, (I even read the part after you told us good guys to leave without getting offended :) and I may be very pessimistic, but I really don’t believe that too many bigots will be changed from their views, whether it be against LGBT, race, Gender or religions, or whatever else they can find to hate people for. I think your point is Valid, that your intent is not to change, but merely to tell them to keep their opinions to themselves and they can go back to their posse of like-minded people and be bigots over there.
        BTW I have no idea what game you are talking about, I just cam here because Kluwe retweeted it.

        • CardboardWitch

          EricMacLachlan yes; I mean I fully admit that I am not perfect. Again believing in the Lord and the teachings of Jesus Christ is not the same as being perfect. I try my hardest to love my fellow man but sometimes it’s difficult when he’s putting a boot to my face or daggers in my heart. I am not perfect and if the good Lord wanted me to go around judging people he would have told me to do so. But he didn’t, he sent is son to tell me to do the exact opposite and sir I try every single day. I don’t always get there but I try. Thanks for your comment.

        • EricMacLachlan

          CardboardWitch EricMacLachlan 
          If you can’t fully admit that you’re not perfect 1. You’re full of shit and the only person who you’ve actually convinced is yourself and 2. You have no idea what it means to be a follower of Christ

  • rhizom

    “are not the final arbiter of God’s word, nor are you his instrumentofjudgment. This one is mostly directed towards my fellow Christians butthere’ssome wisdom here no matter what religion you practice”
    I think you can assume a majority of magic players dont believe in such fantasies. Obviously I’m generalizing here but the math says that most people playing magic have a higher education, and such superstition isnt as prevalent among those groups. Again guys, we’re just playing the percentages here, but if we just take americans that have got the nobelprize I think 90% was people that didnt belive in Odin or Jahve. I am not saying magic players in any way are like nobel prize winners. Just that there is a direct correlation between religiousness and education. All over the world and through history, the higher education the lower level of superstition.

    • CardboardWitch

      @rhizom If it helps I still believe in Santa Clause and long slow wet kisses that last 3 days? Nobody’s perfect. Thanks for reading.

  • MTGsus

    Hey Nina, I don’t know if you remember me but we used to talk on Twitter alot when I played MTG. Just saw Lauren Lee post this and just wanted to say it was a good read and hit some good points. Also, to all the people in the comments, grow the fuck up. That is all.

    • CardboardWitch

      MTGsus I do! Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the kind words. My bad, I really shouldn’t be replying here at all but it’s pretty tempting what not with so many people reading my article. Totally miss you on Twitter man. Thanks.

  • CardboardWitch

    Okay, can we just get all the weird religious comments out of the way in one bundle? I’ll freely admit that I believe in Magical Ghosts and/or the Easter Bunny and anyone who thinks that’s stupid can just reply “Yeap, Nina, that’s stupid”. I won’t hold it against you and we can avoid this whole nonsense together. This is totally way better than me saying “I’m okay with you not believing the same things as me sir, we cool” 250 times.
    Sweet.

  • Hobbes

    The ‘critics’ in the comments thus far have been pretty trolly, but there is a point to be made that putting people on the defensive puts them in the worst state to actually change their mind. Being overly aggressive (in person or in writing) won’t shame a bigot into changing their ways; it gives them an easy excuse to dismiss you as an asshole without even considering your point.That said, the best thing to change the community is a lot of voices speaking up. So nitpicking aside good on you for writing it, and good on everyone else speaking up via comments or their own articles or in person prodding your friends to lay off on the hate.Rome wasn’t built in a day and opinions and entrenched bad social habits won’t be changed in one either, but even though this kind of thing is probably about as fun as pulling teeth I hope you keep being outspoken one way or another.

    • CardboardWitch

      @Hobbes Thomas, I appreciate the sentiment and I really wish I could agree with you. You have to understand tho; I’m not trying to change someone’s mind at that point. I don’t owe them that and frankly I’m not in a very good position to do so. I am trying to get that person to understand that if they attack or lash out at me there will be consequences; just like there would be at a local bar. Naturally of course I don’t mean hitting someone but the fact of the matter is they only feel it’s acceptable to behave this way because I am letting them get away with it. I will not be a victim and there ain’t nothing sweet over here hon.
      Love you anyways :)

      • HobbesQ

        CardboardWitch This wasn’t Thomas btw, someone else using something close to my name! :)

        • CardboardWitch

          HobbesQ CardboardWitch Owned :) Sorry Thomas, tho he was very well reasoned and offered a fair argument no naturally I assumed it was you. 
          Also: Other Hobbes, I’m sorry I legitimately thought you were Thomas. I guess I’m not used to the internets yet after all these years. My comment still applies and I still thank you for yours. Sorry for the mix up.

    • GeordieTait

      @Hobbes There is absolutely nothing wrong with being aggressive and it’s a silencing tactic to have the expectation of non-aggression from the wronged party. I’ve said it a million times, but that’s a “tone argument” which focuses on the tone of the discussion instead of the needs of the victim, and it’s been silencing disenfranchised groups since the beginning of time.

      • CardboardWitch

        GeordieTait Okay I probably would have sounded less like a college professor at Harvard. But yes. Thank you. This.

  • Lasse Norgaard

    I love the tone of the article myself, and of course the sentiment. But kinda have to agree that there is a double standard when you call people names for calling you names. You can’t have it both ways. But overall great article! The rest is nitpicking.

    • CardboardWitch

      Lasse Norgaard Man, I wish I were perfect. It literally makes me so angry when someone goes out of their way to dehumanize me that sometimes all that’s left is a somewhat savage response. You literally have to put your hand down in the muck for a moment and stabilize before you get pulled under. Doing and saying nothing isn’t the answer unfortunately. Maybe one day I’ll be a strong enough person to reason with and enlighten bigots and hateful individuals in that moment. But today is not that day.
      Can you forgive me? Thanks for reading.

      • AllanBC

        CardboardWitch Lasse Norgaard I agree with Lasse on the tone and sentiment, and very much on the double standard. The best option, though it may not seem great, is to ignore idiots like that. They really do exist, and we have to accept that (can’t save them all), but we don’t have to like them. Also, playing back at them really just makes the whole thing worse.
        I like to think that, while there should be freedom of speech, there is a huge difference between that and freedom from consequence. I know that I would not want anything to do with someone who treated another person any less for being different in ways that don’t harm others, and I assume that many people share that view. I don’t know how progressive Canada is, but I imagined it was ahead of the States on these things at least. In Denmark, sure, some people would think it was odd, but think (hope?) that verbal abuse would be rare to nonexistent, especially among Magic players, who are, as you also mention, generally a bit of a bunch of outsiders ourselves.
        And yes, the double standard is easily forgiven considering your situation, and the quality of the rest of the article.

  • anonymous straight guy

    honestly I couldn’t really care any less. This goes both for your sexuality and your opinion of me if I’m sitting across the table from you (though i do try to make a good impression even when loosing horrifically to eggs). People are people are people, if the people who’ve gone after you for being different don’t get that then they’re idiots. Conversely, if you can’t grasp that some of the non-lgbt(etc.) people out there are entirely indifferent to anything beyond how you, as a person, treat them then you’re not being to bright either. I say the second part only because it looks like you’ve done exactly the same bloody stupid thing the bigots do in dividing into US and THEM. As a straight atheist I’m not shocked that you’re trans (why would I be?), I’m happy you’ve reconciled your faith with your life (hey I don’t agree, being atheist, but if it’s working for you that’s fantastic) and I’m glad you’re happy (for whatever that’s worth from random internet dude) but I am a little insulted that you’ve apparently lumped me into a group with a bunch of people I wouldn’t associate with on my worst day.

    • CardboardWitch

      @anonymous straight guy  Reading comprehension is basically a lost art. If you’re offended by the last part it’s because you kept reading and I can’t help you with that ASG. Thanks for reading.

      • anonymous straight guy

        CardboardWitch Insulted not offended, reading comprehension right ;). I Fully read your “if this isn’t you stop reading” thing. I also comprehended. My problem is that you then go on to break people into two groups, those like you and the enemy with no suggestion that some non-lgbt people won’t be chocked/surprised/whathaveyou.

        • CardboardWitch

          @anonymous straight guy C&P’d from above: 
          I specifically mentioned that the person I am speaking to is a bigot whois dehumanizing me. I mention that he thinks I’m a freak, a brokenperson, an object of derision. And yet, literally DOZENS of you continueto identify with this person and become angry that I have insultedhim. So what I need to ask here is, if ya’ll are identifying with abigot who dehumanizes me then why should I care if you’re offended?
          Thanks for reading

  • zakman86

    Nina, thanks for writing this. Though I won’t forgive you for being 100% on the money. :)

  • BrianBenns

    Definitely liked the tone of this article.  Don’t be a victim, everybody has issues, lets just play cards.  Never change Nina, stay strong!

  • Semulin

    I appreciate the courage it took to post this. 
    A humble suggestion to the world at large…
    If someone is doing something that doesn’t harm you or others (being LGBT, practicing a faith you don’t share, collecting stamps etc) let it go.   This includes giving them crap for it.  If a coworker wears a really awful shirt to work, I don’t feel the need to tell them it’s ugly.  If you disagree with someones lifestyle choices, no need to shout it. 
    If someone is doing something that does harm you or others (child/animal abuse, theft, peeing on your house etc) give ‘em hell.

  • choux

    Great post.  Keep on keepin’ on

  • http://www.twitter.com/2sided3angle 2sided3angle

    Nina, thank you for writing this. Wish there was a way for everyone in the community to read this.

  • Writer1007

    Neeners (I have never called you this before, but I am dubbing you with this moniker now and forever after!)
    Love ya and this is some awesome writing!
    I don’t agree with everything you said ( I AM the final voice of God!…I kid I kid I am not even a man of faith). Mostly just the attack back part. I mean, I would do it too, but I know it isn’t the best course of action and from the comments you know it too. All we can do is strive to be better people, but for now…Fuck em
    <3

  • Doctor_why

    Thanks for writing the article Nina. I hope some people “wake up” and grow up.

  • Anonymous125878

    First off I totally understand and have huge amount of respect for you for writing this.
    With that said, I’m much more of a pessimist on the whole subject than you are; people are stupid and don’t like anything that isn’t what they are by nature. Granted, people can be accepting of stuff, but I don’t think trying to change everyone can work in a community with so many people with so much baggage. Again, I 120% support you and everything you’ve said, just think people are fundamentally stupid and not everyone will change. As Patrick Chapin said in his article on a similar topic, words mean things. However, since it seems that we live in a society of ignorants, making people understand such simple concepts as that is nearly impossible.
    Thanks for writing this article and sharing it with us, and I truly hope this does change how a few people think; I’m just a total debbie downer on the matter and think 90% of people are idiots

  • coffeeswiller

    This was a great read. Nina, I appreciate you sharing your experiences, and I would share a table with you any day.

  • Jay Lansdaal

    For the people arguing that she can’t tell people to not call names because she’s doing it herself: This is the same argument as saying: “You can’t tell me to not start smoking – you’re smoking yourself!” . A statement should be judged on its merit, not on whoever utters it. In the above example, the smoker is probably the best person to tell you not to start smoking: he knows what it is like. Saying Nina has ‘double standards’ adds absolutely nothing to the discussion, even if you might be right. It’s like saying Nina has blonde hair – might be true, might not be, but it doesn’t make her statements here any more or less true or worthwhile.

  • mealing

    Nina,
    I would love to see you come back to this in a couple months after all the feed back you have gotten. This is how I interpret and feel about your article:
    You needed an outlet..a way to express the hurt you have felt from the ignorent MTG players that have said/done mean things to you. But in that process you lost sight of the true meaning of your article and starting lashing out with hate towards those players…and that’s where you lost me.
    This world is filled with enough hate, especially in the (MTG world) Hey I’m known as one of the biggest jerks in Ontario…but that’s just my was of joking around! But when it comes down to serious topics like this we need to get past the sarcasim and hate and be true about our feelings…because we all know hate breeds hates, and it only takes a few postive words to put an end to that hate.
    So Nina if you ever do feel like you need to do a folow up to this article, do me a favor and write it with an open, pain free heart.
    Matt Mealing

    • CardboardWitch

      mealing Matt, I honestly don’t feel like I owe anyone in that situation anything. I don’t think all Magic players match the description of the bigot I was specifically talking to; again reading comprehension is a lost art. That having been said, if you *ARE* trying to demhumanize me? You’d be wise to expect a response in kind. Nobody is perfect but what you and everyone else here who’s never been in the situation are suggesting doesn’t work.
      I’m fine if you think my heart is in pain, so long as you behave yourself when we play (obviously not YOU Matt); if that makes me a bad person because I will come right upside a bigot’s head? I can live with that sir.

      • EricMacLachlan

        CardboardWitch mealing So in essence she should beat around the bush, not call people out for being hateful, and just roll with the punches of oppression?

  • CardboardWitch

    Hello, people? Can I clear something up for all of you now? YES I HAVE A DOUBLE STANDARD?! Are we happy now. You are 100% correct. I’m also probably not a very good Christian, if I were Catholic I likely would spend 90% of my time chained to a confession box.
    If a person is trying to dehumanize me I feel that I do not owe them anything. I don’t care about their feelings, I don’t care if they understand. I am not some kind of benevolent teacher wandering the land teaching bigots to accept transgendered ladies one heart at a time. This it the really real word and that shit only happens in TV shows folks.
    You haven’t been there, you don’t know what it’s like and you have no clue how scared you are. The only way to put these fuckers off your back is to remind them, perhaps CONSTANTLY if necessary that if they try to hurt you there WILL be consequences. This is what they understand and frankly it’s what *I* understand too.
    Believe in Jesus doesn’t make you Jesus and we all do and say things we wish we didn’t have to but feel absolutely necessary at the time. So please, stop with this repetitive line of reasoning. I will admit freely right now that I am no paragon of Christ-ly virtue and that I’m not perfect and that in a perfect world you wouldn’t have to yell at bigots at all. So long as you admit that you’ve never been there and you have no clue if turning the other cheek is actually dangerous or not.
    PS – if you’re reading either of the last two bullet point sections and finding yourself upset because “Holy shit Nina, THAT’S NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” you clearly need to work on “reading skills” since all you decent normal people were supposed to leave. That’s not on me folks.
    -nina

  • Radical Feminist

    Please check your thin privilege Nina.  Also using terms like “moron” is totally Abelist and very offensive.  Not only that but your internet handle makes a mockery of the beautiful Wiccan Faith, and you need to change it. Otherwise I apparently have the right to call you a fucking faggot since you offended me(your logic not mine).

    • CardboardWitch

      Radical Feminist Wow, I thought people like you only existed on TV. Thanks for reading.

      • Radical Feminist

        The “nonsensical ad hominem” is usually what I go for when I lose an argument also.  Really we are so alike, you and I!

        • CardboardWitch

          Radical Feminist Oh man? Latin? You win. Wait can people actually win an argument on the internet? Guess I have a lot to learn. Thanks once again for reading and your wonderful insightful commentary.

        • dieplstks

          Radical Feminist  rofl at using a privilege check on someone who identifies as trans.    Let me guess, you’re a SAWCSM?

        • Radical Feminist

          CardboardWitch I’m just trying to find some common ground. After all it is you who insists that the only oppressed groups that deserves respect are the ones you happen to be a member of.

        • CardboardWitch

          Radical Feminist  CardboardWitch I get the impression we have very little in common. Thanks for your comment tho. At this point I probably have to stop responding so as to not fill KYT’s comment’s section with garbage. They have rules about this sort of thing and I don’t believe being a writer excludes you. I’d love to argue all day but you keep beating me so handily I feel like I’m wasting my time and bandwidth. I dunno, I guess I’m a horrible person for wanting to defend myself in the face of bigotry and not worrying about their feelings more than mine. Guilty as charged, I’ve always been a little selfish. Good travels to you and I hope your day gets better and better from here. Thanks for reading.

        • Radical Feminist

          dieplstks  No I am a Wiccan Black womyn Gender-studies graduate student,
          which affords me plenty of time to hop on the internet and dismiss
          without thought the opinions of others(like yourself) because they are
          white men.CardboardWitch No problem that’s all i wanted: an acknowledgement of how very very wrong and foolish you really are.  Also please stay out of our womyn’s internet spaces, we can feel your Y chromosomes oppressing us through our computers, thanks in advance for your understanding.

        • CardboardWitch

          Radical Feminist  dieplstks Ahh, you reveal your true self. I knew I was wasting my time. :)

        • Radical Feminist

          CardboardWitch Radical Feminist  dieplstks   The fact that you think it matters “who i am”(as in what socially constructed boxes I fall into) is what makes both of you bigots.

        • CardboardWitch

          Radical Feminist  CardboardWitch dieplstks You just unloaded a well crafted insult perfectly tailored to cause as much damage as possible to a post-op transgendered woman (with an a!) and you call me a bigot? Enjoy your sweet life.

        • HobbesQ

          Radical Feminist  dieplstks CardboardWitch Slow clap on that insult. That was the most biting thing I’ve ever read from a feminist to a transgendered person. That was one insult designed to really hurt, so good job

        • browndr

          HobbesQ Radical Feminist  dieplstks CardboardWitch It’s very rare, but there are times when I wish slavery hadn’t ended…

        • RobersKirkman

          Radical Feminist Wow, way to be a jerk. Why is it that anytime someone takes the time to categorize exactly what they are, they come across as a pompous, pedantic asshat with more time on their hands than they really need. For some reason, it always seems to undermine their original point… Just saying.

        • dieplstks

          Radical Feminist Wow, you’re a fucking despicable person.  Is your thesis on how transphobic you can be?  Also, no one takes people who use spellings like that seriously anymore

        • adamzak

          Radical Feminist *woman

  • chasandres

    Thanks for writing this. I try to have a good understanding of what it would be like to live in someone else’s shoes – like you said, we all have our skeletons – but it’s easy to just assume everyone has the same set of values and experiences. It’s a shortcut from years of human evolution where we only knew the people in our tribe, and those guys and gals probably DID have the same experiences you did. Remember that time we all saw that one REALLY BIG mammoth?
    You probably won’t reach too many of the people you want to with this. As you say, the people who really grind your gears are hateful fucks and none of ‘em are going to take the time to read this. If they do, they’ll probably troll you. Trolls are good, by the way – it means they read your message and are probably one tiny step closer to understanding. 
    Anyway, I try to be understanding and treat everyone (that I don’t hate already for legitimate reasons) with the respect they deserve as a human with a unique set of struggles and beliefs. I’m glad that you had a platform to write this, and I’m glad I took the time to read it.

  • NicholasGrayson

    I liked every bit of the article, and I couldn’t help but to keep reading to the end. It reminds me in tone and scope of the Chris Kluwe editiorial a few months back. I don’t like football, but I fucking love him! And like his, I think your article, Nina, was blunt but eminently fair.

    • CardboardWitch

      NicholasGrayson Thank you. I kinda wanted to share it with Chris but I’m too chicken; I just wish him luck on Sundays except when he’s playing my beloved (and terrible) Lions. I have a tremendous amount of respect for that man so you saying my writing reminds you of his in even some small way is a huge compliment from where I stand. Thanks, made my day because the rest of the comments section is starting to get super scary. Thanks for reading, really appreciate that.

  • shaolinmonk36

    That was a good read Nina. I really hope the ones that need to read this have it printed out for them or they mistakenly get sent here, because we know they aren’t here for their own betterment. Here’s to hoping. 
    I am very concerned that there is some drawn line in the comments about education leading to one having no religion. As a guy that is fairly well educated I am also very religious and a huge amount of my reading and studying involves either Magic or Religion and philosophy. I can’t imagine that I would be in the minority in this game or in life in general, but hey I could be wrong, I am fine with that. 
    The title for this has the No Doubt song playing in my head. Over and over.

  • sithholocron

    Nina, I have known you a long time, and the only thing that made my Jaw Drop was number two bullet. I was not aware of your religious background. But that does explain a few things. Either way, your article makes me realize once again we are all night white washed people of privilege but that underneath it all, underneath loves, monies, desires, whatever we are all human, and it is the saddest part that we all forget that many many times. you are awesome, this article is a must read! and i love you tonnes.

  • SeattleDad09

    “When you start crying about your constitutional right to call peoplefaggots whenever you feel like it? You have a “fucking moron” issue.Shockingly society doesn’t care about your right to be a fucking moron;even if the law implies that it does.”  This this this!It is staggering to me the number of people who don’t understand that while the First Amendment guarantees freedom of speech (within reasonable limits, i.e. O.W. Holmes “Fire in theater” test), it does NOT guarantee freedom of consequences from the exercise thereof.  A person is perfectly welcome to sound like a jackass, but I am also perfectly entitled to think of them as a jackass, should verbal jackassery ensue.Haven’t played Magic in years, and had never thought about face-to-face geek interactions from the transgender perspective.  Or hell, much of any face-to-face geek interactions anymore; mostly seems to occur online.  A good and interesting perspective, and glad @ChrisWarcraft retweeted.

  • apolymorph

    I don’t know you, I don’t play Magic anymore, but I think you are awesome.

  • shoju

    Wait… Nina? I… I think I sort of… Kind of… know you. As in… I knew someone who talked like you, and fit your description, and played L5R (maybe magic too), and hung out on the Kobune Port. We met at Origins one year, And you were cool as hell.I wound up here via Chris Kluwe RTing the link to your blog on Twitter.If this is the same Nina (and really… what are the odds of finding two people like you named Nina that play cards in driving range of Origins?) I’m glad to hear that you are living and loving life.Shoju.

    • CardboardWitch

      @shoju Yeah, that’s me. I left all my pretty Lions and Cranes behind for a life of Elf/Goblin Herding. Thanks for the kind words and thanks for reading. :)

      • shoju

        Glad to see you doing well, and that you have taken this stance. I wont lie, you were the first transgendered person I had met (at least knowingly). It was easy when I was younger to dismiss it as weird. Growing up where I did, it’s just not something that you see. But meeting you, definitely changed my view on it. It wasn’t weird anymore. You were a person just like the rest of us, and you were right, it wasn’t about your life, or my life, it was about coming together and playing cards.

  • ZeroMH

    In all honesty, if you don’t love and live life to it’s fullest, you’ll feel like you are actually alive instead of some brainless dolt whom believes in other things, IE: Religion and the ilk. But in all honesty, Life is so worth it, even if you’ve got different opinions, you’ll be you, end of story.
    Glad your enjoying whatever life you got in you there Nina, it shows who you are inside, it’s not the outside that matters anyways.

  • Grenade

    I appreciate that this exists. I also appreciate  your description of your boyfriend as a “Celtic Warrior god” which immediately brought to mind an image of the dad from Brave and/or How to Train Your Dragon.
    I understand the comments about anger making discussion more difficult, and to some extent I agree. If you stripped away all the anger and rage from this article it would be much more accessible, if less interesting. People tend to be less receptive when confronted with both unfamiliar ideas and monumental amounts of rage. 
    The problem with doing that, however, is that it makes the article less real (although not literally, obviously.) Nina has had to deal with shit that I have never experienced and certainly don’t understand. She is trying to share experiences that have obviously been very frustrating and difficult, and expecting her to do so without sharing the anger that accompanies those experiences is unrealistic.
    The problem is, if you’re focusing on the fact that she’s angry then you’re missing the point. This was an angry article, because it’s an angry subject. Move past the anger and you’ll be rewarded with a unique look at an issue most of us have never experienced and probably weren’t aware of. Accept that she’s angry, but don’t let it take away from what she’s saying.

  • http://jonathanvair.blogspot.com/ Jonathan Vair

    Hey, based on this article you sound like a pretty cool person. I’m sure is already coming of this article. Thanks for writing and sharing, and keep up the good work!

  • torerotutor

    Enjoyable piece, nina.

  • jlina

    Tone arguments are crap; I am not going to come here and say the tone of your article is out of line, even if I would have done it differently were I writing it in your shoes.  You have every right to your emotions, and every right to use your platform as you see fit.  But as a trans woman who plays magic and has also been involved in trans activism in the wider world, I am very wary of the way in which you cast aspersion towards other trans people based on your dislike of their presentation or their means of interacting with the wider world.  What you consider to be drama might just be a person standing up for themselves, and people usually make ridiculous fashion choices because they’re new, not out of any malice.  Let’s face it, we may not be victims but we’re all survivors of something.  Creating these artificial boundaries based on your own comfort level, to sort the “good” trans people from the “bad” trans people… it’s not new.  It’s been done, and it ends poorly every single time.  
    Oh, and it’s awesome that you’re announcing your boyfriend as a means of establishing your legitimate claim to womanhood.  Totally not problematic, that.  If you knew from the start that you were going to be pitching your article at a dual audience, perhaps it would be best to consider how the way in which you credential yourself to one group of people (straight dudes) might come off to your secondary audience (other trans folk).

    • CardboardWitch

      jlina I guess that’s the problem; we still live in a world where I can’t write an article for both. Magic tournaments are Magic tournaments, not a fashion show/pick up bar. I’m sorry you took what you took out of this article but I always knew there would be casualties. I’ll assume you aren’t sending me a Christmas card. Thanks for reading.

      • jlina

        CardboardWitch it’s a fairly defeatist attitude to think we’re in such a world… Chapin managed perfectly fine to write an article for dual audiences, and he’s not even a member of the tribe.  And sure, picking up people at magic tournaments is totally gauche, but that’s true WHETHER OR NOT a person is trans.  To only focus on the women who engage in this behavior is misogynistic; to only focus on the trans women adds transmisogyny to the pile.

        • CardboardWitch

          jlina Hey, I’ll let you know when a guy walks into my FNM with his shirt off, axe body spray, ass hugger jeans and lakes of hair gel like an extra from a Oates and Garfunkle video. Hasn’t happened yet. I appreciate your sentiment, I welcome your comment but I’m forced to conclude we have very little in common. I’m sorry for that, but we shall be forced to soldier on in this life knowing that we just couldn’t agree. I think I’ll be okay, I hope you will too.
          -nina

        • AllanBC

          jlina I realize that transgender is still fairly controversial even in North America, but can we at least agree that we’re all just people? I think we’ll all be much better off if we stop this talk about tribes.

  • TankofJank

    Really enjoyed the passion of this Nina! The whole “You are not a victim” hits home in other ways for me. We are all survivors, therefor we should cherish life. Not let the hate of others dictate who we are, only we have that power. You are strong in who you are and I hope that your strength helps others realize they are strong too.

  • AllanBC

    “You are not defined by your sex or sexuality. You are a person and with that comes a myriad of hopes, dreams, pressures, thoughts, ideas and emotions. The fact that you’re transgendered is only ONE small part of the multi-faceted miracle that is you. When you choose to self-identify ONLY with your gender/sexuality you are literally helping small minded people stuff you into a box and discard you as a human being.”
    This is really well-formulated. It can also be generalized to any person and any association that person has. You don’t have to let the fact that you are a geek, jock, chess player, rock star or anything else define you singularly. You should, of course, let it be part of who you are, though. I am not _just_ a nerd, but I sure as hell am one.

  • CardboardWitch

    I wasn’t going to answer this, and frankly I’ve been trying to avoid it but I really can’t stand the idea that people would be left with such an ugly opinion of something I wrote for the most minor of reasons so here goes:
    I didn’t mention my boyfriend to prove I was a woman, I mentioned my boyfriend to prove I wasn’t a gay man who liked to wear women’s clothing to the kind of person who wouldn’t understand otherwise. More so even; I mentioned him because he is such an important part of my life that if you don’t know he exists, you don’t know me. 
    When you sit down to write something this personal you’re going to have to decide at some point when being yourself is more important than making sure everyone who reads it is happy.
    I went through “The Program” years ago, I know all the little one upswomanship tricks in the transgendered community and I know all the little snide digs we throw at each other. I said what I said to help people, not hurt them. And if you’re a transgendered woman out there I want you know that I care about you deeply and I understand what you’re going thru; how could I not. The point is that if we want to be treated just like any other woman in society we have to start acting like it; Magic is a wonderfully accepting community for people who play Magic. Show up, have fun, but don’t make it all about you. Being part of the community is JUST as important step in your transitioning process as proving to people that you’re “serious” or “real” is. In fact as someone who’s been through the whole song and dance I daresay it’s *MORE* important. So agree, disagree; to be honest I’m fine if you just decide to hate me but don’t forget that you’re more than your gender, you are not a victim, you are part of a Magic community and more than anything else you have a right to enjoy your life.
    Ya’ll can go back to quoting pamphlets I burned years ago now. Sorry to interject.

    • Anonymous Coward

      CardboardWitch

    • Anonymous Coward

      The whole goal of the so-called “real life test” is just that: get out there as the gender the patient identifies as. It’s the very epitome of “be yourself” and it applies to both transsexuals and to other non-WASP people too.
      It’s not easy and it’s not meant to be easy; learning to be your true self is a process everyone goes through at some point.
      Ignore the haters and move on with life – most of them can’t be changed. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the nature of hatred.

  • irishbear

    Chris Kluwe hooked up a link on his Twitter to the article, and while I don’t quite understand much about Magic, I do understand about the politics of bigotry that exist all around, from the larger politics of the world to the more self-contained politics of a universe like Magic. I’ll happily get anyone’s back when they’re fighting for the right to be who they are, who they want to be. And in the world of, quoting here, “a silly little card game”, why should gender/identity matter? I liked the in-your-face of it, too; some people will never understand a simple point of human decency unless they’re grabbed by the neck. And BTW, no matter what the radical feminists say, with their outdated and improper use of the letter “y” in far too many words in the languyge, there’s nothing feminist even remotely about transphobia.

  • robotlarge

    I’m really glad you finally got around to writing this. I’m proud of you Nina. We may not know each other very well, and live at opposite ends of the country, but I’ve never felt closer to you.

  • ghosthoffa

    My internet based interaction with Nina has actually helped my understanding a bit and acceptance of people in the “community” I will say this, there are straight assholes, gay assholes, lesbian assholes, transgendered assholes and asexual assholes and guess what? The Internet gives an outlet for all of them to come out and comment like tough guys.
    Sidenote: Republican Mormon here, I can still be friendly with people that I don’t share 100% of their life choices. I continue to be amazed at the narrow minded nature of so many people in the magic community. ESPECIALLY those who claim to be Christian, Christ loved all, even those who caused him to drag his own cross to his death on Golgotha.
    The magic community can be a fun community but a lot of you guys are immature self centered jerks. Because of MTG and twitter I have met two transgendered members of the community and they are some of the nicest people  i have met.

  • mdsbp

    ” I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love with all of my heart; he looks like a Celtic Warrior god”Come now, warrior Gods are JACKED, I don’t know if Leon quite fits that criteria. Then again neither do I… lol”I am not a victim,” I agree, in fact I would go one step further. I would say that you are the liberated, the fortunate. While the rest of society is suffering as they conform to the gender stereotypes which have been pushed upon them you’ve had the courage to say:
    “Fuck this. I am me, not what social pressures tell me I should be. I am going to be me.” This is something few people seem to be able to do.
    The effect gender stereotypes have on us bugs me. I hate it.
    For example, it bothers me when speaking with other young men that our feelings are never discussed. “oh you broke up with her, eh?””ya… it’s alright””cool, so [change topic]“Because boys don’t cry when they fall of their bikes, they aren’t to cry when they’re hurt later on in life. Men don’t show emotion to each other because we’re taught that showing emotion is weakness, and that we cannot be weak. 
    “Be a man””Suck it up””You’ll get beat up at school if you dress like that””What are you? Some kinda puff?”
    This bothers me. It bothers me a lot. No one is as such, no one is immune to being hurt. Why pretend? Why not be yourself?
    Why not be yourself? Cowards.
    We’d probably all be better off without the pressures of gender stereotypes. 
    But you, you are strong. You are yourself, and I like you for that.I envy you for that, for being strong.

  • Nick B

    This article has really got me interested, not only in the content and the way it was written, but some of the backlash coming from the comments below.
    Right off the bat, this was a fantastic article. It was gripping from the very beginning and you had my undivided attention until the very end. I even went so far as to read (most) of the comments that followed.
    It’s hard to imagine we still live in a world filled with intolerance. It’s something I didn’t even realize was a thing until High School. People were people, regardless of gender, ethnicity, etc. If I didn’t like someone, it was because they were an asshole, not because they were different than me or something as arbitrary as that. At a certain point, they began hammering tolerance into our heads when, hey, this was already old hat to me, so it seemed silly (but clearly looking into events around the world, you can see that some people need someone to backhand them).
    Although, the only thing I’d say is it’s in human nature to fear the unknown. That’s how bigotry started in the first place, that general lack of understanding and the prejudices that followed. Sometimes people don’t know how to react when faced with someone foreign to them, and often they become introverted (or in certain cases become outwardly dismissive of what is in front of them). If someone is shy because they are suddenly insecure (tying this into Magic a bit), I think patience is in order until they give you a reason not to be. It’s unfortunate because I relish the opportunity to play with diverse opponents, because even if it’s strange to me, it broadens my perspective on life and the world and I’m happier for the experience. I especially like seeing women who play Magic, because I don’t think enough of them do and it would be nice to diversify who slung spells some more (variety, is after all, the spice of life).
    Finally, I say if anyone is throwing mud in your face in the comments, don’t bother acknowledging them or giving them the time of day. Clearly if they are offended by what you said and feel the need to justify it to you in a belittling/demeaning way, then they are clearly the ones who have issues and they don’t deserve your attention. You’ve more than spoke your piece above, in such a fantastic way, bantering with the trolls would only be throwing more fuel onto the fire.
    Just keep on being awesome.

    • MrVigabool

      Well put and good outlook on life. 
      One of the purposes of writing, and art in general, is to inspire thought and emotion. Whether you agree with her methods, motives, or points; Nina did both here.  
      Also, your first name is awesome. Worth noting.
      Finally to Nina: I commented now, happy? :)

      • CardboardWitch

        MrVigabool Yes, and thanks for the kind words. I tried, I kinda knew certain “groups” of people would be upset when I wrote it. The idea was to spare no one and force people to look at how they are contributing to the problem. The worst response has been from Trans women but I felt it was absolutely essential to include them in this discussion to point out how we ALL contribute to the problem in some small way.
        At some point I hope people can just understand that we’re all Magic players and nothing more. Not holding my breath, you should see the comments in OTHER places.

  • BADROMANCEOHOH

    thanks for saying what needed to be said. it’s sad to have to be reminded that people are people but someone’s gotta do it.

  • holtfrank

    I liked your post. The only thing I would say is that you generalize that ‘not all trans people are victims and their lives must be pretty amazing.’ That may be your truth but you have zero business speaking for other people. You’d all be dead years an’ years ago… but 50%  attempt suicide at some point in their lives. Trans people are victims of prejudice. That doesn’t mean they’re helpless, but they’re victims. Just because you have an ok life doesnt mean you have the right to tell other people that they should just buck up because their life is probably pretty good in comparison.

    • CardboardWitch

      @holtfrank I am not a victim. Thanks for reading.

      • holtfrank

        CardboardWitch I didn’t say you are “a victim,” as in you have the character of ‘a victim’ and that victimhood defines you or any individual fully. I said that many transgendered people are victims and it’s condescending for you to dismiss the thoughts and feelings of those who are different from you by simply saying “Hey, today life is good, so you shouldn’t feel bad.”
        Trans people face a lot of prejudice and hate. Definition of victim: someone on the receiving end of something unfair that hurts them. If you don’t think that trans people are allowed, at times, to identify as a victim, you need a dictionary.
        It’s laughable to say “Hey we’d all be dead in the past” because a lot of trans people today are not only victims of violence and attacks, but also bullying, and, hugely, suicide. I’m not saying trans people are not strong, not am I saying they are not resilient, but it’s ignorant to say that trans people are never victims.
        If you yourself have received discriminatory remarks from others, in that moment you were a ‘victim’ of prejudice. It didn’t define your personality, but your definition of victim is narrow. “Victim: person who is harmed, injured, or killed by an action.” If you don’t think trans people are harmed by remarks by people, then there is no point in writing this post.

        • CardboardWitch

          @holtfrank I repeat, I am not a victim. Prejudice is something that I experience but I am and I will never be a victim of it. The advice was there to help people who have been in a situation *I* am very familiar with. No offense but where’s your little “I’ve been through SRS” card? Exactly. Stop being a victim. Thanks for reading.

  • cracklotus

    Awesome article, but I will tell you I have played sports and kissed girls and am not Asian.

    • CardboardWitch

      cracklotus What really bothers me when people say this or things like this is: I specifically mentioned that the person I am speaking to is a bigot who is dehumanizing me. I mention that he thinks I’m a freak, a broken person, an object of derision. And yet, literally DOZENS of you continue to indentify with this person and become angry that I have insulted him. So what I need to ask here is, if ya’ll are identifying with a bigot who dehumanizes me then why should I care if you’re offended?
      Not you personally of course, but the point applies as you seem to think I don’t think you played sports or kissed girls because I do not believe the hypothetical bigot does.
      Thanks for reading.

  • smacketybap

    Great article.  Loved the line “Try reading the New Testament folks; there’s a lot more to the bible than the book of Leviticus.”  Amen to that.
    I’m amused by the number of folks who seem to think they’re enlightened if they only bash you for your religion.

  • cracklotus

    Actually I’m not upset or think any of the things you mentioned. In fact I don’t even care what you think about me in the least. I do think that you wrote a very good and very though provoking article.

    • CardboardWitch

      cracklotus That’s fair, I’m sorry if I misunderstood then. I just wanted to be clear that I think most Magic players are actually pretty well adjusted socially; in fact it’s usually the small minority who aren’t that are my problem when I attend a Magic tournament. Thanks for the comment, sorry about the misunderstanding and congratulations on what sounds like a well rounded life.
      It’s been a long couple days and I must’ve just read the absolute worst possible interpretation of what you said. Forgive me? Also, you’re Avatar is creepy cool, I can’t figure out what it is but I can’t stop staring either :)

      • CardboardWitch

        cracklotus your even, DOH! :) Spelling, it’s a skill :)

  • Guest

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  • DanielGill

    Traditionally, people with your ‘psychology’ (here using a modern term for proper english, not because I agree much with psychology) become shamans, because it results in joining the masculine and the feminine together. That said, breaking such a dramatic social taboo as changing your sex will draw ire and you will have to roll with the punches. Just be aware that many other people have felt the same way as you for eons and you don’t have to feel slighted by silly trolling . Being dual-natured or extra gendered is often seen as a blessing and not a curs.

  • Kidchaos

    Thanks for the article, it was very interesting. I have been playing magic for over 10 years and loved every tourney. In fact I had played against a Transgender women at Anime North in Toronto a few years ago. She was from the States in New York and was thinking of coming to Canada and having never met a Transgender before, coming from Sault Ste Marie there are not many …if any or I just couldn’t tell some doctors are like da vinci with a knife these days. We were talking for quite some time during the Tourney and was very interested in her story. She commented on how accepting the people at the Con were of her and I tried to be just as accepting.  Having many friends who are gay, my very good friend is a lesbian…. to my great disappointment lol she is beautiful physically and as a person.  I was raised Catholic but as I have gotten older my ideas on spirituality have changed, I believe in something more than what we see but not in the idea people are excluded because of who they are. I hope that people who play this game have a greater acceptance of people, but people will always be afraid of what they don’t know and closed minded not to want to know. So I say to hell with anyone who can’t accept the real world and stay in the one their blissfully ignorant minds make for them.  Great Gaming to All and Happy Holidays

  • Tera

    Someone posted an interesting response to parts of this article here: http://hipstersofthecoast.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/hope-eternal-trans-not-special/

    • CardboardWitch

      @Tera Thanks, I replied on her site.

  • CardboardWitch

    So, I kind of have to get on with my life now folks. This has been a great deal of fun (okay that’s kind of a lie, but it has been productive and I’m a nerd so that’s close enough) but my job and BF are starting to wonder why I left them for the internet. I thank the vast majority of you for your calm rational comments and I genuinely hope one day we can all learn that we’re just Magic players and we come together because of Magic. Nothing else is super important. 
    If you are so inclined there are two other places I am aware of that are participating in this discussion and frankly I’m getting blasted pretty hard in both of them:
    http://www.reddit.com/r/magicTCG/comments/14pnb5/a_very_good_piece_which_i_enjoyed_throughly_from/
    and
    http://hipstersofthecoast.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/hope-eternal-trans-not-special/
    I’m not asking you to comment but if you felt strongly enough to say something here, perhaps you will feel strongly enough to say something there. I am but one woman and I’m tired of fighting for the moment. I need to gather my strength for the moment and I’m all out of patience to explain to people who exist only to take offense to something that is not offensive.
    In conclusion folks, if someone is actively working to dehumanize you, you do not owe this person anything. Not your love, your compassion and most certainly not your respect. Providing such simply enables them. Much like a large angry dog it is sometimes important to demonstrate which of us is the higher, thinking animal to control their aggressive and even dangerous behavior. You don’t have to agree, a lifetime of being me has already confirmed this in my mind. Good day.

  • EdwardBear

    Hey Nina.. Kind of a shame that in 2012 we’re still having to say things like this, but hopefully in another 25 years (I’d love to see before that!) this won’t be an issue anymore. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re still one of the smartest people I know, at least when it comes to this game! Much love and good luck to you and your boyfriend!

  • HillMTGPres

    I’m going to preface this comment by saying that I fit your assumed discription perfectly aside from the being well off thing.  I scrape every new standard to slap a deck together for FNM and going to play at local area PTQs is the world’s worst grind when you push yourself to pennies for the game that you love.  If I play modern or legacy my deck is a hodge podge of remants from other locals with much better collections than I, but this isn’t the point.  I just want to establish that I am the exact stereotype of a Magic player, mostly.
    Then I am going to tell you that I dislike you, not for being Transgendered, or being a Woman playing Magic.  I am not so close minded to believe that there is no place for people different from me at a Magic table.  I don’t dislike you specifically because of the nature of your article.  Occasionally, you are in a minority group, one that is treated unfairly, and that requires one to stand up.  That is admirable, especially when it’s on the internet and you still choose to avoid the protection of anonymity.  I dislike you for turning into the exact sort of person you rail against in your article.
    In your article you talk very candidly about a group that I am going to call the ‘Mob’.  Every game store has a Mob, who’s goal it is to pick on and grind out the weaker players, and ultimately, if a player sticks up for themselves and plays well, without even realising it.  They become members of the Mob.  It’s tragic, but it’s true.
    Magic as a game on the whole has a Mob.  I certainly wish it didn’t, but it does.  18-30 year old males who don’t want girls, especially girls who they can’t tell are girls or are maybe uncomfortable perceiving as girls getting their cooties all over the beloved cardboard battleground.  To be candid, f*** those guys.  They miss the point of social games like Magic, which are first and foremost about bringing people together, before having them compete against each other.  It’s like the olympics, for geeky folks.
    But there’s a reason I call them the Mob.  Because they engage in Mob mentality.  One member of this group speaks up, and like termites out of the woodwork they come a crawling.  You mentioned in a comment in a sort of L-O-L manner, that there were two places that people were just railing on you.  Which by the way, having looked at both places that were supposedly blasting you, you get a hearty “one out of two ain’t bad” from me.  You then proceed to add “I’m not asking you to comment” to absolve yourself of all guilt, then proceed to encourage people to respond to these posts and defend you, like your shining knights from Camelot.
    While Reddit has never been the best forum for debating serious issues, looking at the comment thread, you seem to have taken just as many shots for being a Christian as being Transgendered, and while that’s still terrible, that’s not the sort of personal attack people who approve of this article should need to “protect you” from anyway.  
    Now let’s talk about Jess Stirba’s article, one that if anyone from here went over there and commented negatively because you asked them to, I’m going to be very disappointed.
    Stirba doesn’t attack you or the content of this article in any way except for one.  She laments the dangers of putting too much emphasis on personal experience, and potentially typecasting people into one of the boxes that the traditional Mob is so afeared of.  You comment in a manner that is pretty well thought out albeit a little passive-aggressive, and then Ms. Stirba responds to you in a manner that is also well thought out as well, if not, again, a little passive-aggressive.  Your response was then a brief comment that was full of spite, before leaving and claiming you would never return to her little blog.
    If this were the end of the story, I could live with it.  Discussions get heated and sometimes dissenting opinions hurt or catch you off guard and if it made you angry, sure.  Except that the dates matter.  If you look on Ms. Stirba’s blog you will see that your comment was made on Dec 14, 8 days ago as of the writing of this comment.  If you look down at your comment to this article, your own, you’ll see it was made 8 days ago.  So that’s what happens when you lose at a debate…
    Congratulations on being Krenko, to make a topical reference.  After spending an entire article talking about pigheaded and bigoted opinions and people.  How these groups of hatemongers are horrible people you did what…  Right, you lost in an argument and then proceeded to go back to your safe little world and people with opinions matching yours and tried to group them together to gang up on Redditors and especially Ms. Stirba.  Congratulations 1 vs. 100, you are the Mob.
    This is a shame really, because your article speaks of an issue that we should all come together to stop.  Yet, you allow it to even further divide us.

  • Dante Jay

    Would give you an honest, heartfelt ” You are awesome ” hug if you were here. :)

  • WillSkuxOrmshaw

    I got about half way though, so I don’t know if you actually got somewhere with this, but this felt to me like a boring attack against opinions that I do not hold. The half of this article I did read was dull, and you seem to have this preconceived notion that people will have their “jaw dropped to the floor around about bullet number four there.”. This is childish and I’m actually getting really tired of trans people (For some reason it seems to be only MtFs) having this huge chip on their shoulder and think the whole world is against them. Frankly, responding to this article, let alone reading it has been a waste of my time.

  • WillSkuxOrmshaw

    I got about half way though, so I don’t know if you actually got somewhere with this, but this felt to me like a boring attack against opinions that I do not hold. The half of this article I did read was dull, and you seem to have this preconceived notion that people will have their “jaw dropped to the floor around about bullet number four there.”. This is childish and I’m actually getting really tired of trans people (For some reason it seems to be only MtFs) having this huge chip on their shoulder about the whole world being against them. Frankly, responding to this article, let alone reading it has been a waste of my time.

  • kingmightybigpants

    Hey Nina,
    The only thing i ever hear about you is that you are a kick-ass magic chick.  Hope you don’t take offense to that.  Oh, by the way, i heard that from JayBooooooooooosh.

  • EricCruz

    I’m sure, for some, this article was eye opening.  But for me, it was self riotous and annoying.  This issue of woman rights is a social issue, and has nothing to do with Magic.  Its exhausting watching self appointed ‘writers’ of magic share their two, poorly executed, cents. 

    Woman’s rights is a issue that should be talked about. (For example  slut shaming, over sexualization (not a word), etc).  Those are legit issues. But how ‘woman’ are treated in Magic?  Waste of my fucking time.

    • Lebenji

      Dude, she clearly stated at the beginning of the post “this article is only tangentially about Magic at all and I would understand if those readers who are here to read about [Magic] closed this window and left now.” You wasted your own fucking time.

  • http://gravatar.com/porkberrypie tperry

    Good article, I wish it was true about people being focused on competition and not on the sex/preferences whatever of their opponent.

    A lot of the players I met would welcome girls playing magic, but are the first to say “I can’t believe I was beat by a fucking girl” or complain about girls getting annoyed at their ridiculous half naked anime girl sleeves, or some other thing that is too juvenile for a mid 20′s early 30′s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rafael.guerra.370 Rafael Guerra

    Very nice article, i’ll show it to my girlfriend becasuse i know she will love it too!

    • http://www.facebook.com/rafael.guerra.370 Rafael Guerra

      because* xD

  • http://www.facebook.com/AlphaLackey Charles Raymond Mousseau

    Nina,

    I’ve read your article from pole to pole, and I’ve read a number of the comments; both gave me headaches for separate reasons, but I’ll start with the single most important part of your article:

    “I’m a Magic player just like you and I want to be thought of, judged as and treated like a Magic player by my peers and opponents in this community. I don’t want your understanding, your pity, your empathy, your ignorance, your hatred or frankly even your respect. I don’t care what you think of me as a person and I hope you understand that I’m not wasting a single ounce of mental energy judging you as a person either. We’re here to battle, nothing more and nothing less.”

    This, this, this, a hundred times this. I don’t think you appreciate just how giganto-enormous of an olive branch this is, and just how many people really and truly “get you” and want to reciprocate. However, I must reemphasize that this works both ways.

    So let me phrase it like a bargain thus:

    If you don’t think-of-slash-refer-to me as a “white-privileged, male-privileged, hetero-privileged, cis-privileged person who is COMPLETELY INCAPABLE of treating people in a demographically-blind fashion” for no other reason than I’m “blinded by privilege” even though you don’t know me from Adam, I 100% promise you that I will only think of you as an opponent across the felt. If you have a weakness, I will exploit it. If you have insight, I will hear it while sharing mine. If you outplay me, I’ll learn your trick. If you have spare rares that fit in my deck, I’ll trade you my spare rares that fit in yours.

    And with any and all almighty [G]od(s) as my witness, if I’m staring at your breasts, it’s because your heartbeat is extra-noticeable through that thin skin over your mammaries, and I’m only trying to maximize my chances in the same way you are; see above.

    In return, in no way will I ever suspect that you have ulterior drama-based motives for entering a Magic tournament that supersede the ones you’ve told us about. In no way will I ever think less of you for “merely” being a female Magic player. In no way will I denigrate your femininity given the tumultuous decision you went through during your surgery.

    My concessions might seem more substantial than yours; my experience suggests the opposite. You would be surprised how many good-minded people, men and women alike, who are on the vanguard of this concept of egalitarian thinking.. or at least, would be, if they were not shamed off that.

    Trust me, Nina, for every bigoted troll you encounter online, there are a score of reasonable egalitarian folk out there. You might to see us all at all times, because many of us have been shamed away from believing that we can follow the Golden Rule [treating you as you'd treat us], but I assure you: we are out there, and we are the silent majority.

    With that out of the way..

    by God, not only do you need to think twice when choosing your homonyms (“say your piece” and NOT “say your peace”, among MANY others!), but please, for the love of all that’s big-H-Holy, read your articles to yourself out loud, and insert a comma at any point you’d pause for breath.

    Hate me all you want for nitpicking on your written style; just appreciate it’s what I’d do to any other Magic author.

    Peace out,

    Charles “Alpha Lackey” Mousseau.

    • https://www.facebook.com/poupardjason Jason Poupard

      What he said.

  • http://Newt Festering

    Just a man

  • http://gravatar.com/panagiotisls Eclipse

    I know all this is very interesting and stuff but we are here to play magic aren’t we. Get on the game weel. Speaking for myself I want to believe that I’d never judge an opponent by their not-relative-to-magic characteristics. And i also want to belive most other fellow magic players would do the same things, for the shake of having fun playing a game we all love.

  • http://inkyscholar.blogspot.com/ Brian Brown (@inkyscholar)

    Nearly a year later and still the most popular post on the site. What a testament to Nina and her writing skill. Kudos.

  • http://gravatar.com/chengrel chengrel

    It’s always nice to hear of another trans* magic player, especially one that has the chance to talk about these things to other people.