Another week, another Mailbag. Magic is slowly slipping into the “Doldrums” of summer, but there are always questions to be answered about the game and its players!
This week I stick my toe in the Hall of Fame debate, let you know more of the legends surrounding the Oracle, Jonathan Medina, and, there may be some truth in the rumor that I am hiding from some of my fellow planeswalkers.
Ok, tell us McPlaneswalker, who belongs in the MTG Hall of Fame this year?
Since Wizards has yet to bow themselves to my wisdom and give me a vote for the hall (don’t worry, I know you’ll rectify that next year), I haven’t been following the ballots that carefully this year. But, there is one Magician that needs to be in there, but there’s no way in hell he’d ever show up on enough ballots.
Mike Long.
Wait, dammit, put the pitchforks down! I know, we’ve all heard tales of his shenanigans. He would rather cheat than win, he can cause you to misplay just by looking in your eyes and he carries chloroform in his pocket so he can steal kidneys between rounds. None of that matters. He may be Evil Incarnate, but he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.
Mark Rosewater has championed his inclusion before, and while I sometimes think Maro’s a few acorns short of the Squirrel Farm, I think he’s spot on here. Long is THE villain for Magic, the black hat. He’s the one player everyone can agree, we’d rather shave a Wooly Thoctar than be associated with him. In many ways, his “persona” is just as big as Kai and Finkel’s.
I would say that almost every Magic player has heard of “The Drain Life Incident” from Pro Tour Paris 1997. I know, when I first started playing, I was told about it. It’s the greatest “Make them play it out!” example we have in the game. Now, Mike Flores claims that YouTube clearly shows that the play never happened, but, in my poor multiverse-weary mind, this only increases the significance of the event. At this point, the tale (which may be the greatest “Jedi Mind Trick” ever, if real) has passed from myth into legend. It doesn’t matter if he really tricked Mark Justice into going “full retard”. This tale, and Mike Long himself in many ways, has become such a fabled part of the game. It is this tale/match (and others like Ruel and in Pro Tour LA), and players like Mike Long that make up the fabric of Magic history. I don’t care if you think he’s a syphilitic rat humper, he’s important to the history of the game.
How about this compromise; we let him in the hall, give him the ring, but he doesn’t get any of the “playing” benefits?
What is your favorite multiplayer format? -livewithfrank
Magic, like sex, is best performed at the kitchen table, with multiple participants. While I’m growing fond of Commander (EDH is such a better name, isn’t that right, Vorthos), it still hasn’t replaced good ole multiplayer freeform free-for-all. You see, Johnny McPlaneswalker is a griefer. Actually, griefer is too “lite” a term. I count my victories not in the number of times I survive to the last, but in how many turns it takes to have the entire table turned against me. If I can get you to pull your hair out, call me foul names, and threat to find my loved ones and leave them as desecrated bodies, then my deck has performed admirably.
One of my favorite decks lately has a playset of Armageddon, Wrath of God, Balance, Catastrophe, Regrowth, and Gaea’s Blessing, with some mana acceleration and a lone Kjeldoran Outpost to guide me to victory. There is nothing quite as fine as the anger and frustration in an opponent’s eye after you Regrow a Balance and play it for the 5th time.
Who is Medina and why should I know his name like Madonna? – Jared Gushattey
Jonathan Medina is a 7-foot-tall grizzly bear in a man suit. Legend has it that his mother was a buxom she-goat and his father was Zeus himself. He eats Mountains and shits Moxes. His bookmark is a Beta Black Lotus. He once spent Halloween at a crossroads and ended up trading a foil Moonlace for the Devil’s soul. He can outrun an ostrich. He smells pleasantly of daffodils and sage. He excels at Epic Bastardrey.
The real question is, how do you NOT know Medina?
Do any planes other than ours have computers? If so, are any of them actually cheap, powerful, easy to use, and secure? – thephoenix5
I’ve visited many planes with computers. In some places they cost you a (literal) arm and a leg, in some places, they gave them away for free. On some planes, you’re born wired-in.
Unfortunately, every plane that invents them stumbles down the path to “Artificial Intelligence” and all their biological organisms are eventually enslaved or harvested. There are almost as many mini-Phyrexias in the planes as there are kids in the Erwin household.
Have fun, I figure Earth’s got a good 50-60 years left until the Mechanical Armageddon!
Why are all your profile pictures different? Are you on the lam? – derfington
It could be that Johnny McPlaneswalker is in hiding. I did piss off Ajani when I replaced his premium cat litter with the Walmart equivalent. A certain Elder Dragon Planeswalker is still unhappy that Johnny used his “Little-McPlaneswalker” to flavor the punch at the last Planeswalker Party.
It could also be that I’m “saving myself” for a very talented artist, with a bitchin’ MTG comic, to come by and rescue my avatar from obscurity.
A McPlaneswalker Recommends:
Ascension: Chronicles of the Godslayer (iPad/iPhone App)
Great hairy balls of f!@k, is this game addictive! I downloaded it from iTunes on a whim, and proceeded to lose the next 5 hours of my life. The game has endless replayability, and that same perfect mix of luck and skill that makes Magic fun and stroke-enducing at the same time. At this point, I’m just waiting for the expansion to come out so I can throw my money at them. Hurry up, guys, McPlaneswalker needs a new fix.
As always, blame Kibler.
Today’s Interesting Fact from the Planes:
Liliana Vess’s nickname is Puddin’. And, it’s not just because she’s a fan of Snack Packs.
That’s it for another week’s mailbag! Keep those questions coming! Encourage your friends, neighbors, and loved ones to follow me on twitter. Again, when I reach 100 followers, one lucky individual will receive a free, SIGNED (by me) Mudhole!
If you have any questions, I can be summoned at McPlaneswalker@gmail.com
or @McPlaneswalker on twitter.